


Your Love Is Better

by Lanceisthebest



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Addiction, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Bullying, Depression, Drarry, Drugs, Guilt, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Eighth Year, Love, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Hatred, Serious Injuries, Smoking, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-10-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 23:57:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 34,774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7595344
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lanceisthebest/pseuds/Lanceisthebest
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the war, students return as eighth years. Both Harry and Draco are faced with guilt after the war, so The two boys form a friendship that may soon turn into something more.<br/>Draco has to worry about his safety from the other students, and harry is determined to keep Him alive.  This brings the two boys together.  The rest remains unknown...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Im writing this as I go so it will be a week or two until I updated. I hope you enjoy!!!

Harry slumped over the poorly lit desk. He had a glass of Firewhiskey in one hand and held up a picture of his parents with the other. He stared blankly as he pictured all the people that had died for him. His mother, his father, Fred, Sirius, Lupin, and the list continues. Harry has cried, yelled and puked so much out of pure emotion that it didn't feel necessary anymore.

The war ended only a couple months back and Harry spent most of his time locked in his Shitty, small, horrible apartment. The dark floor boards were loose and worn down. The walls, which were supposed to be white, had turned to an unsettling coffee colour. Harry didn't mind the smell, dirt or size. In fact he barely notices most of the time. His thoughts were pretty occupied. When he isn't thinking about shit like how Ginny left him because of Harry's depression and Alcohol addiction, he is occupied by drinking or sleeping. 

Ron and Hermione haven't given up on Harry. Unlike Ginny, they come over regularly to make sure he has eaten, bathed, and to make sure he hasn't suffocated in a pile of his own vomit. They make sure the fireplace is lit (Harry always puts it out when they leave). Most days they have to physically rip a bottle of alcohol out of his surprisingly strong fingers (Harry always buys some more after they leave).

Harry put the picture of his parents down and examined the Hogwarts letter, even though he has read it so many times he can recite it, word for word. 

The former 7th years have been invited to come back to Hogwarts as “8th” year students, as the war interfered with their studied. If they wish to Graduate, it is mandatory to return. After many attempts of getting Harry to come with them to Hogwarts, he finally agreed. 

Harry put down his glass of whiskey and thought about Hogwarts. He has all of his books and necessities. In addition to his school supplies, Harry is returning with a new friend. A long haired, handsome grey cat named Harlen. Harry had planned on buying another owl, but he felt that no owl could live up to hedwig. When he saw Harlen in the store, he knew immediately that Harlen would make a sufficient companion.

The train leaves tomorrow. Hermione and Ron said they would be over at 7 AM so they could all get to kings cross together. Harry Thought about going back to Hogwarts as he checked the clock.

5 AM. shit. no point in trying to sleep.

Harry tapped his wand on his glass and it instantly filled with whiskey. The Liquid burned his throat as he took a sip As harry lied down on his bed. He closed his eyes and the first thing he remembered was the trial. 

The second he heard of Malfoy's trial, He volunteered to speak immediately. He can still remember what he said.

“Draco Malfoy was pushed into being a death eater. He had little to no say in the matter. His Father, extended family and friends were all involved in Voldemort, and the Dark Arts.” Even after Harry destroyed Voldemort, people still flinched at the name. Harry continued on. “ On more than one occasion, Draco showed non-death eater behavior. On the night of Professor Dumbldores death, Draco Malfoy said ‘If i don’t kill you, he will kill me!’. After Having Talked to professor, Draco was evidently lowering his wand. He had also saved me and my friend lives by not identifying me to the death eaters.”

Everyone in the wizarding world loves Harry, so after sticking up for Malfoy, they Let him off. All charges dropped. When Harry made eye contact with Malfoy in the dock, he swore it was a look of Guilt and sorrow that Malfoy returned. Harry's stomach turned and he lost his breath. It's how He felt when he looked at Ginny…

Draco had dark shadows under his eyes and his snow blond hair was uncharacteristically messy and unkept. He was wearing a shaggy and dirty jumpsuit from Azkaban. Draco had to stay in azkaban for a month before his trial. Maybe that's why he looked so un-Draco like, Harry though.

Harry doesn't know what Malfoy is thinking. Is he sorry for what he has done? Is he happy about being let off or does he think he deserves Jail? Harry's relationship with Malfoy is also unclear. The war is over, There is no more reasons to fight but at the same time, neither of them are running to each other begging to be friends. 

Harry's mind wandered like this for a while. He thought of Hogwarts again. How would the castle be different? Harry knew how much construction would have to be done on the castle. The war destroyed walls and furniture and well, most of hogwarts. The amount of kids returning as 8th years was unknown to Harry. The amount of Slytherins returning this year must be low. Their reputation suffered a large blow, even though only a select few Slytherins had fought on voldemort's side. Many Slytherins have probably lost parents due to azkaban or death.

Subjects like hogwarts and friends came and go in his mind. The clock read 6:47 Am. Harry scrambled to get a fresh shirt (that didn't smell like booze) and a pair of trousers on. He checked the cracked, dirty mirror and decided he couldn't do anything about his mess of hair. 

Right as he finished cleaning up his whiskey, Hermione and Ron walked in (they don't bother to knock anymore). 

“Ready?” Hermione asked.  
“Absolutely” Harry replied sarcastically.

They walked to platform 9 ¾ as Harry remembered the first time he was there. It seemed so long ago. So much has happened between now and then. He thought about how young Harry would act If you told him about the war. What would he do if he found out how many people died for him. Harry felt nauseous as he thought about it. 

Harry almost turned back once he thought about how the people at school would treat him. Surely friends and family of fellow hogwarts students had died in the war. Would they blame him? Or would everyone call him a savior and a hero? Would people follow him and girls chase after him giggling?

All the wizarding newspapers writing stories like “where is the Chosen One now?” And “Why has Harry Potter disappeared from the spotlight?” Would not help with the constant attention. Harry wasn't ready for this. He wanted to leave. His friends won't let him turn back though, especially Hermione. She would know that he would just sit in a dark room and get drunk for Ten more months. 

The platform was full of parents hugging and kissing their kids goodbye. Owls hooted, cats meowed. There were so many sounds Harry had not heard in months. It made him feel warm inside. 

As he had expected, many eyes were on Harry. People whispered and pointed. 

A man came up to Harry and shook his hand. “Thank you, for everything you have done” the man said smiling, with tears in his eyes. Harry could tell the man was sincere and emotional. 

“ I… Thanks” Harry replied quietly, not knowing what else to say. He gave a polite smile and let go of the man's hand. 

“Harry! Are you coming?” Ron shouted from the door of the train. 

Harry took a deep sigh. He looked around once more and nodded to ron. 

He entered the train, not knowing what would happen At Hogwarts this year. 

He had no idea how much shit would happen.


	2. The Ride Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter we see Harry and Draco make their way over to Hogwarts. In addition to a conversation with the two boys and a small Draco P.O.V, we see Harry recall a memory from earlier in the summer.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From here on the chapters will get longer. The story will move a bit faster as they start the school year. I will probably update every 2 weeks or less. Enjoy!

Harry stepped onto the train after Ron and they went to get a seat. As he walked through the train he could feel and see people holding their breath and staring at him. Why won't they just fucking look away? Harry thought. They know I see them so just look away, will you?

The amount of people on the train seemed normal. Not many students have left, but the ones who did leave have been replaced with the 8th years. Harry smiled as he saw the new 1st years. Harry's first years at Hogwarts had been his happiest. He missed the simplicity. Voldemort wasn't in power, there was no war, and the Thought of loved ones dying was unheard of. 

Hermione, Ron, Luna and Neville were now finding their way to an open compartment. After everyone had found their seats they started chatting about topics Harry had no interest In. Neville was enthusiastically telling Hermione about the Water Plants of North America Tour he went on during the summer. Luna was discussing the Quibbler with a bored looking Ron.

Harry looked out the window and remembered the trees, and the grass, and the sky and sun. Harry remembered everything about the train rides. In one year he looked out the window and thought about his godfather. The next year he thought about Voldemort. This year he's thinking about himself.

With that thought Harry took out his flask and took a quick sip. In addition to the familiar burning in his throat, he felt Hermione look at him. He screwed the cap back on and put his flask away. He looked at Hermione and she looked at him. She didn't say anything, but her stare was a sad one. It was Hermione who was the most worried about Harry's drinking and attitude. Most likely because of what happened over the summer.

~~~~~  
It was the day of Fred's funeral. Harry sat next to Ron, who was next to his family. That was the first time Harry had seen Ron cry like that, but it was George who was the worst, He had to leave in the middle of the funeral. This is my fault, Harry thought. He couldn't take it. When Harry Got back to his apartment, he felt angry. He felt angry at himself. Angry at the world. Angry at the war. The usual sadness he felt was replaced with this huge surge of anger.

He picked up his lamp and threw it on the floor. He knocked his mattress over and ripped his pillow. He kicked over his desk and broke his plates and glasses. He chugged a beer and had a couple glasses of whiskey. He looked around at his apartment. All the emotions and anger and guilt Harry had felt was let out at once.

Although, after all of that, Harry only got a few seconds of relief. He let out a laugh, he felt better. The anger was gone. After a couple seconds of this high like feeling, it was back. The sadness and guilt was back inside his head and it felt like it would never leave. Harry let out a scream that turned into a loud sob. he slid down the wall in defeat. 

He picked up a broken piece of glass on the floor and crushed it in his hand, making it bleed. Harry looked at the deep gash in his hand, which was now bleeding, and took another huge gulp of whiskey, then slumped over and blacked out. 

After a minute of knocking on the door, Hermione burst into his apartment.

“Oh my god”

Harry was now faced down in a Pile of his own vomit. Hermione rushed over and did a number of healing spells, but to no avail. She called a muggle ambulance and they rushed to the hospital. 

Harry had almost died from alcohol poisoning, suffocation and blood loss. Harry had woken up in the hospital to a disappointed and worried looking Hermione. 

“You almost died” she whispered with tears sparkling in her eyes.

“I know.” Harry told her, not knowing what else to say.

“if I haven't come when I had, you would have died. Why did you do it? You know the weasleys don't blame you.” Hermione said as she sat down on Harry's bed. 

“I know,” he said “but I blame me. For everything. For the death, for the war, for Hogwarts. I wanted a break from feeling.” 

“It's hard, I know, but you can't get rid of feelings. It doesn't work like that. You have to work past them and accept them. It will take awhile, and drinking yourself near death won't help.” 

Harry couldn't bring himself to look at Hermione, so he looked at the bandage covering the cut on his hand. 

“I can heal that for you” Hermione said, pointing to his hand.

“Don't, leave it there.” Harry said “you've already helped me enough. I don't deserve it.” 

They sat in silence for what felt like years. Hermione stood up after a while and looked at Harry. 

“A lot of people care about you. You need to stop beating yourself up. Take care of yourself.”

“Thanks Hermione, really.”.  
~~~~~  
Harry moved his flask out of sight and mumbled a quick “sorry” to Hermione.

Harry joined a conversation Ron was having with Luna about the new school year. The trolley came around and Harry bought a sandwich and some candy. 

The group laughed and ate for a while longer. Harry missed this feeling. It was the best he had felt for a while. It felt like his first year.

After the group had finished their lunch and had ran out of topics to talk about, harry decided to stretch his legs. As he stood up, Harry saw none other than Draco Malfoy walk by.

Harry stepped out of the compartment and slid the door closed.

“Hey” Harry said.

Draco looked taken back by Harry. 

“What are you doing, Potter” Malfoy said with his usual smirk. Something weird happened, though. The rudeness in Malfoy face faded and it looked… sad. Like he didn't believe in what he was saying.

“Just… standing here.” Harry said, not knowing what else to say.

“Well move along, it's not a show, Potter” Malfoy said with that same faded rudeness from before. 

Harry looked at Malfoy. He looked different from his trial. His hair was neater and he looked clean. There was still a sadness to him, though. 

“Well, see you around, I guess.” Harry said as he slid the door of the compartment open. 

Harry heard Malfoy mumble a quick “whatever” as he walked away. Harry entered his compartment and sat down with a smile on his face. Why was he smiling? We loathe each other, Harry thought. Although he didn't quite believe that. 

“What was that?” Ron said, obviously talking about his “chat” with Draco.

“Oh, um. Just Malfoy” Harry said as he tried to wipe the smile off his face. 

“Such a git. What did he want from you? Probably blaming you for his poor Dad still being in azkaban.” Ron said with a sneer. 

“What? Oh, no, we were just... talking.” The whole group was looking at Harry now. 

“Draco isn't too bad” Luna said while looking out the window dreamily.

“'isnt too bad’?!,‘“ Ron said loudly “he's a bloody death eater! His whole family is!”

“No he's not!” Harry said louder than expected, “he… was forced to obey Voldemort. He would have gotten killed if he didn't. And I really think he has changed.”

Ron seemed taken aback by Harry's defensiveness towards Malfoy. In fact, the whole group was surprised, including Harry.

“I mean… yeah he's an arse, but I don't think he wanted to be involved with Voldemort. He was forced.” Harry said, trying to tone down his anger.

“I'm just saying that he could have probably gotten away from it if he wanted to.” Ron said, slightly agitated.

“Well his mom and dad were still involved. He didn't want to leave them. And anyway it wasn't that simple. Voldemort and his death eaters could find him, and then he would have defiantly gotten killed!” Harry said. Both him and Ron were getting angrier. 

“Why are you defending him? After all he did to us and Hermione in school you're still sticking up for him!?” The two boy were almost screaming now.

“I'm…,” Harry took a second to compose himself. “Look. I know he was rude to us and his family were death eaters but I don't think he wanted to be one, and I really think he has changed.” 

“i don't think he's changed.” 

Harry and Ron were both mad at each other. Harry couldn't understand why Ron didn't forgive Malfoy. Well… Harry himself couldn't understand why he forgives Malfoy, honestly.

There was silence throughout the group for a few minutes. Harry was staring out the window, but not focusing on anything, and Ron was staring at his hands. 

Eventually Luna stimulated conversation by talking about the new Quibbler copy coming out soon. Ron seemed to have forgotten about the fight, as he was laughing about a joke Hermione told him.

Harry, on the other hand, had not forgotten about it. He was worried about how the fellow students at Hogwarts would treat Draco. If Ron believed that Draco was a death eater, Harry was certain people at school would believe it. He was worried for Malfoy.

The train ride continued and they arrived at Hogwarts. Harry and almost everyone else were very eager to see the castle. Only a couple months ago the castle had been a huge pile of rubble and bodies. Even magic can't fix that much damage. 

Harry, Hermione, Ron, Neville and Luna all piled into a carriage and started towards the castle. Harry looked around at the other students riding alongside them.There were gasps and whispers. Two of the girls looked mad at him, but the others in the carriage looked happy and starstruck. One of the two mad girls slapped a happy one on the shoulder and said something very angrily. Fuck, Harry hoped that everyone wouldn't act like that, but he did not expect the best. 

Harry had been up for more than twenty four hours, and the castle was a pretty far ride, so he put his head on Hermione's shoulder and fell asleep.

~~~ Draco's P.O.V ~~~

Draco walked with his head down towards Hogwarts, he didn't want to be looked at. He finally located a carriage and got inside. People passed by and definitely didn't seem to be in a hurry to join Draco. 

He gave a quick pat to the Thestrals head and fed it an apple from his bag. It started to move, and he was on his way back to Hogwarts.

Draco was happy that he had the carriage all to himself but there was a certain loneliness to it. Draco hoped that everyone will not hate him and believe that he was a death eater, but he did not expect the best. 

He put his head on the side of the carriage and watched people pass by. Suddenly, Harry's carriage was trotting in front of Draco's. Alongside Potter there was Granger, the weasel, longbottom and lovegood, The usual losers who tagged alongside Potter, Draco thought. He immediately felt bad for thinking that.

Draco's eyes looked around and eventually fell on a sleepy Harry. With his messy fucking hair, and askew glasses and… great eyes… He watched as Harry lowered his head onto Grangers shoulder and closed his eyes. Draco couldn't help but think that Potter looked cute… and pretty fucking hot, too…

Draco felt his face go red. He took his eyes off Potter and they met with the weasley boy's. He looked very angry at Draco, understandably. Draco had made fun of him and Granger for many years. Honestly, Draco admired Hermione's smarts. He did not like the weasel, though. Draco raised an eyebrow and then looked away.

Draco decided there wasn't much to do or look at, so he took a muggle pen out of his pocket, pulled up his sleeve and started to artistically doodle on his arm. He drew a petal on the wilting flower he had started to draw on the train.

The petals were at his wrist and the stem winded all the way up to his elbow. Every once and awhile Draco would catch a glimpse of his faded dark mark on his inner arm. It made him want to puke. 

Draco had used every form of magic to try and get rid of it. Burning spells. Removal spells, transfiguration, potions, even some permanent makeup spells. He would work all day at it. His arm would be red and burnt, and it was very painful. Nothing seemed to alter or fade the winding snake at all. Drawing helped Draco deal with having the ugly symbol permanently branded on him.

After he finished detailing the flower on his arm, he glanced over at Harry's carriage again. He looked over at Harry to find him now awake. His glasses were still askew and his hair was messier than ever. He looked upset and worried. Draco wanted to protect him and slaughter anything evil that would ever want to touch him. But at the same time he wanted to sloppily throw him to the floor and rip off his shirt while he nibbled on Harry's neck.

Draco kept staring at Harry and his mind wandered. Suddenly Harry looked at Draco and they made eye contact. He looked troubled, but also like he was in a deep thought. After a couple seconds there seemed to be a warmness, or welcoming feeling which confused Draco. Why would he ever even look at me nicely after everything I have done to him?

After a few seconds Draco finally broke eye contact. He didn't know where else to look so he looked at the castle, They were arriving shortly. Draco's stomach felt queasy.

Here we go

~~~ Harry's P.O.V ~~~

Harry dreamt about the war. It was like a slideshow. There were pictures after pictures of people dieing. 

Sirius dying,  
Dumbledore falling off the tower,  
Fred being blown back. 

The last picture was of the broken down remains of hogwarts, after the war. 

Harry was shocked awake and sat up suddenly. He looked around and gathered his surroundings. No one but Hermione seemed to notice that Harry had awaken.

“You okay?” Hermione asked Harry quietly. 

“Yeah… bad dream.” Harry told her with a forced smile. 

Hermione gave him a worried smile in return and rubbed his shoulder.

He looked at his friends in his carriage. nothing eventful seemed to have happened while he had slept. Neville was stroking some sort of potted plant as Ron excitedly told Luna and Hermione about a new wizard wheezes product. 

Harry looked over at the carriage behind his and saw none other than Draco Malfoy staring at him. They made eye contact after a few seconds, which startled Harry a bit. Malfoy’s eyes looked kind, but sad, which was very uncharacteristic for Draco. Harry's stomach turned and he was at a loss of breath. Draco's silver eyes were piercing into him.

After a few seconds Draco broke the eye contact and looked up at the castle, as did Harry. They would be arriving soon.

Harry joined Hermione and Neville's conversation about future jobs for a while. Every few seconds he would glance at Malfoy, who was still looking at the castle. 

It didn't surprise Harry that Malfoy was sitting alone. After all, he is the only known death eater who hadn't been sentenced to azkaban. The whole Malfoy family were feared by most, but their involvement with blood lines and Voldemort have them a very bad reputation, especially after the war. Not many Slytherin 7th years were returning, so Draco's gang were either in azkaban, or in hiding. 

Harry is positive that there would be bullying this year. Probably between Slytherins and other houses. There were many grudges between people because of the war. Many of those grudges involved the Malfoy family. Harry is scared for Draco. Hell, Harry is scared for himself, too. 

So far, people responded positively towards Harry. They treated him like a hero, but harry doesn't want that. He wants to blend in and be normal. He doesn't want to be known for anything, he wants to be able to confidently go outside without fear of being bombarded. 

If people at School took pictures and pointed, asked for autographs or thanked him, harry doesn't know what he would do. He might kill himself. 

That's his worst fear. Hogwarts was his home for many years, but he is dreading going back. He wants hogwarts to feel like it did in his first year. Harry what's to discover new magic and feel comfortable and… happy.

They reached the hogwarts grounds and his friends got out of the carriage And began to walk towards the school. He walked behind them, as he didn't want to talk to anyone. He heard Luna shout a loud, bark like laugh to a joke Ron has said. Neville and Hermione were smiling both at Luna's laugh, and Ron's joke. 

Harry appreciated all of his friends and were glad he had them, but they don't understand Harry. They don't understand that the war isn't over for Harry. They have helped him with so much, but they can't fight Harry's mind. They can't yell at every single person who asks for a picture. They can't fight this battle for Him, so he feels like he needs to isolate himself. Locking himself in a shitty apartment for months at a time is better than explain to people that love him, that they can't help Him this time.

They reached the castle at last and Harry's friends centered the school. Harry stood outside of the door and closed his eyes. He was about to face everything he has been trying to avoid for months. Oh god. What have i gotten myself into? He thought. He took a deep breath. And put his hand on the door. 

Draco had caught up and was now next to Harry. They looked at each other and made eye contact again. Harry felt warmer and lighter in his stomach after he looked at Draco. 

Harry swears he saw Draco smirk at him.


	3. Defeated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The year starts and we witness a fight with Ron, perspectives from both Draco and Harry, interaction between the two boys, and a darker side to Hogwarts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter us very long. From now on I'll try to make each chapter 6,000 words. The first 2 chapters are very short so I have decided to edit them both together as 1 chapter. So if you see this fanfic with 3 chapters one day, and then 2 chapters the next day, that's why. I'll add a new chapter in 2 weeks. Enjoy!

Harry found Hermione, Ron and Neville at the Gryffindor table in the great Hall. He plopped down next to Ron and started to wonder if Draco had Actually Smiled after looking at Harry. It definitely looked like he had smiled, and he did it right after he looked at Harry.

He continued to ponder ideas of why Draco would smile at him until his thoughts were interrupted by ron.

“Where were you?” Ron said with a surprising amount of food in his mouth. 

“I was just standing outside for a second,” Harry said, still bitter from the fight he had with Ron on the train. “Do i have to be with you at all times now?”

“You're still mad about before? All I said was that this bloke, who has bullied us for years, is a death eater. Just let it go already,” Ron said, equally as bitter as Harry.

“I'm not mad about that!” Harry said unconvincingly. “I'm just… tired, okay? Sorry”.

Harry's apology was not sincere, he was still upset about what Ron said on the train. 

Harry angrily ate his dinner while thinking of Malfoy. He thought of Them sorting in the soft grass near the lake, and laying against the secluded tree. They would talk about quidditch while Draco ran his pale hands through Harry's messy, dark hair. They would look into each other's striking eyes and sit there for hours…

“Welcome students!” Professor McGonagall said, disrupting Harry's thoughts. The hall was silenced at these words. “I welcome you all back to Hogwarts. After the war, many people doubted that we would open again, but here we are. We have lost people. We have lost homes. For many of you, hogwarts is your home, and I don't that to be lost, too.”

Harry listened to these words and made a slight eye roll at some of the other students. Harry has lost way more than people and a home. He has lost his happiness, parents, and many homes. He has lost his fucking sanity. 

Minerva continued with her welcoming speech by reciting the usual rules of Hogwarts. After a few minutes, she got to the part everyone was interested in.

“As you all know, we have added an eighth year to Hogwarts.” She looked around the room. “ After this school year, we will go back to only seven grades. The eighth years will take their NEWTS alongside the seventh years, the content they are tested on will be more advanced.

As for living situations, one of the abandoned classrooms near the greenhouses has been expanded and turned into a separate common room for all eight years. All houses will share one common room, but there will be four different sleeping dorms. There have been a couple students granted a private room due to private situations.” Professor McGonagall continued. Harry was granted a private room, but he didn't know the other students who have gotten one. 

“There has been a new rule that applies to any student who is of age. Due to the end of the war, your teachers and I have agreed that the wizarding world is a much much safer place now. Because of this, if you are of age, you can now walk to Hogsmeade town at any time of the day.” There were many groans from underage students, and many excited whispers from the seventh and eight years. 

“If you have any questions, you may ask a fellow teacher or myself. Enjoy the rest of your meal, and I hope you have an educational and safe year!” 

excited talking broke out all over the great hall the second she finished her speech. 

“We have to share a common room with other houses? Even the Slytherins? Is she trying to get us murdered!?” Ron said angrily.

“There are only seven Slytherins returning as eight years. You don't have to worry about being killed, Ronald,” Hermione said with a hint of sarcasm.

“What do you think, harry?” Ron asked while stuffing mashed potatoes into his mouth.

“The other houses don't bother me. Anyways, you only have to hangout in classes and the common room,” Harry said while stifling a yawn.

“Yeah… true,” Ron said. “When we get to our new common room, you, me, chess?” Ron said, quickly changing topics.

“Maybe tomorrow mate, I'm beat. I'll most likely crash when I get there,” Harry replied with another yawn.

“Okay, but before you sleep I want to check out your private room. I bet it will be nice.”

“Yeah sure.” Harry took a sip of his water. “ Do you know who else has a private room? Professor said there is more than just me.”

“I think Draco has gotten one,” Hermione said while cautiously looking at Ron.

“Malfoy? How do you know?” Ron said with a slight awkwardness due to the argument before.

“Well, he hasn't gotten very good press after the war. Professor might be worried about his safety. He also doesn't seem to be socializing much. It's common sense,” Hermione explained.

Harry looked over at the Slytherin table to find the handsome boy stabbing at some cooked vegetables. He wasn't talking to anyone and he had his head down.

Everyone finished their desserts and were eager to see their new living spaces. A teacher took the eighth years to their new common room and told them the password (rosorweed).   
They entered their new home, and it was beautiful.

There was a black couch decorated with green and silver blankets and pillows in the middle of the room. To the left of the sofa was an identically black armchair decorated with similar blankets, but these ones were blue and grey. 

This theme continued around the room. Black furniture decorated with the four house colours. There was an assortment of booked in one corner, next to an armchair decorated in yellow and black. In the other corner there was another couch, covered in red and gold, which had a coffee table and chess set in front of it. 

The place was filled with lots of natural light due to the many windows, and it smelled of sweet flowers because of the greenhouses near by. 

The ceiling was very high, and painted upon it was was a marvelous painting of the Hogwarts grounds. There were lots of surprised faces and excited talking amongst the students. Even Malfoy seemed impressed. 

There were four tunnel-like entrances spread evenly across the room. Each of these had a house banner on top of it, signifying the sleeping dorms. 

“Cmon, Harry,” Ron said excitedly while heading to the dorms. Harry smiled and ran off after Ron. 

The Gryffindor dorm split into two hallways, the left was the boys dorms, and on the right was the girls. Harry followed the boys hallways and saw Ron enter a room with Dean. Harry continued down the hall and looked for his room.

He eventually found a door at the end of the hall that read “Private room~Harry Potter”.   
Harry unlocked the door with the key he had gotten via owl post during the summer. 

The room's theme was very similar to the common room. Black furniture decorated with Gryffindor colours and exposed brick walls. It was the size of a four person dorm, but it was decorated for one person. 

He bent down and unlocked Harlan's crate, which had been in the corner of his room, before lying down on the very comfortable bed. Harlan curled up at Harry's side and purred happily. Harry gave a slight smile to his cat and stroked Harlan's head. 

Hogwarts was starting to feel more familiar than usual. He was finally recognizing the homeliness of the great Hall and corridors. Even laying in this bed, thinking, reminded Harry of his previous years. 

Even though there was a strong familiarness to Hogwarts, Harry could tell that this year would be very different. He couldn't tell if it would be a good or bad change, but it definitely would be Jurassic.

Harry continued to pet Harlen, he closed his eyes, and slowly fell asleep after a long journey over to Hogwarts.

~~(Draco's P.O.V)~~

Draco sat down on the fancy and soft bed in his private room. He took a slow and shaky breath in. He was in Hogwarts. He thought he would never be back here. 

Draco was grateful he was granted a separate room. There were only six other Slytherins returning, but he valued his privacy. 

He got up and made his way over to the mirror on one of the walls. He looked at himself through the mirror, and Out of nowhere, He punches it. Pieces of the mirror flew across the room. All of the anger that Hogwarts created over the years was free. He hurt so many people in this war. It was his fault people had suffered. And now he was trapped at Hogwarts. People hate him and he has nowhere to go. 

He slowed his breathing and closed his eyes. Draco looked at his hand and it was bleeding slightly. He heeled it with his wand and flopped down on his bed. He didn't bother to mend or clean up the mirror. 

Draco laid on his covers, fully clothed. He looked up at the ceiling and eventually fell into a nightmare riddled sleep.

~

Draco woke up to sunshine beaming across the room. He panicked and rushed to put on a green shirt and black well fitting jeans until he realised that class starts Tomorrow. 

The Boy took a deep breath and calmly sank back down into his bed. He discovered that breakfast was in a half hour and made and after a few minutes of curling up under the blankets he decided to go down. He switched into a white shirt and combed his hair. 

Draco was a handsome boy and he couldn't deny it. He had a chiseled jawline and high cheek bones. His ice hair was parted at the side and combed into a messy looking undercut. He had thick, light brown eyebrows above his mesmerizing, sharp grey eyes. His beauty was elegant but startling 

Malfoy walked down to breakfast and sat next to a sixth year he has never talked to before. He grabbed a piece of lightly buttered toast and took a few gradual bites. After scanning the great Hall he found a few familiar faces at the Gryffindor table, but Harry wasn't one of them. He looked through the whole hall, but the green eyed boy was nowhere to be seen. Draco was disappointed.

Potter. With his scar… and… hair. Draco would like to hang out with Harry, he always had. Not specifically in a romantic way, but Having him romantically in his life would be even better than being friends. It pains Draco that Potter dislikes him. 

Malfoy eat a plate of eggs and chugged a glass of pumpkin juice before heading back up to the common room. He got a book out of his trunk and sat in an armchair in the corner of the large room.

Muggle books have become a huge interest of Dracos. They were a great way to occupy himself. Some nights he would be too scared to sleep, because sleep leads to dreams of Azkaban. There was nothing to do alone at 3 AM but read, so that's what Draco did. He would read countless poetry and novels until he fell asleep over his copies of mixed books. The dreams were pleasant and intellectual after he would read.

Draco was reading the perks of being a wallflower so intensively that his nose was touching the paper. The book had come out very recently and he was almost finished with it.

“That's a good one, I finished it yesterday” a voice said. 

Draco jumped back and dropped his book at the sudden comment. He looked up at the person, and it was none other than Harry Potter. 

“May I sit here?” Harry asked, indicating to the arm chair opposite of Draco. He nodded yes and Harry sat down. 

There was awkward silence for a few minutes, but Draco's mind was going insane. 

Harry Potter is sitting here, Draco thought. Doesn't he hate me? Is he going to hurt me?

And suddenly, out of nowhere, Harry asked “Do you want to take a walk with me? To... Hogsmeade. Now. Maybe?” 

Oh god, what the hell? Did he just ask me to hang out with him? Is this a trick?

“why would you hang out with me, Potter?” Draco said, ecstatically yelling inside his mind.

“I have nothing better to do, and that's a great book to discuss.” Harry said nonchalantly. He had bags under his eyes. 

“Okay. Fine”

They walked down from the castle and made their way to Hogsmeade while They talked about books, like the new Stephen king novel and The Pilot’s Wife. The conversation was very one sided at the beginning, but Draco soon began to open up and talk. Draco was usually closed off to others, but now, he was open. It was like a large door inside him had unlocked. 

There was a very hidden coldness in Harry, Draco thought. If Harry smiled, seconds later his face would change and look upset. He also had a strong smell of whiskey on his breath. This was a surprise to Draco, as Harry usually was a positive person.

Harry looked at Draco and for a brief moment and they made eye contact. Harry's forest green eyes were breathtaking. They were art. Their eyes Pierced each other and there was a quiet lust in both of the boys. Draco coughed and looked back down at his feet. 

The only sounds present was their shuffling feet and birds chirping in the trees. It was hard to label the emotions the two boys were feeling right now.

“Want to head over to the Three Broomsticks? Not much else to do.” Harry asked, breaking the silence. They walked over and took a seat at the bar. 

They both ordered a fire whiskey. Harry downed his quickly. Draco doesn't drink very often, so this feeling was unfamiliar. After he finished his drink, they ordered another. And another. They drank for what seemed like hours. It made Draco feel relaxed at first, but then he started to feel nauseous and dizzy. 

They talked about summer and current events until it was dark. After who knows how many drinks, it was quiet between the boys. Then, Draco said something he hadn't planned on saying. 

“ I was in azkaban for a month, you know, before my trial. It was horrible. Cold and dark. the dementors were gone, but it was still awful. the loneliness was the worst.”

More silence. Until, 

“Yeah I know,” Harry said. He obviously didn't know what else to say. 

“you got me out of there.” 

“ I wouldn't want an innocent man to be stuck in that hellish place.” 

“So, you think I'm innocent?” Draco asked. 

Harry seemed surprised at the question, but after a few moments of thinking, he answered. “ I could tell, especially during the war, that you didn't want to be in that fucked up situation you were stuck in. School on the other hand, I can't completely forget how big of an ass you were to my friends and l. I Forgive, but don't forget.” Draco glanced up at Harry for a second and discovered that Harry had that same upset look from before.

“i know I was an ass,” was the only thing Draco could muster up. 

“Like I said, I forgive but not forget. And If you are a dick again this year, I can't forgive.”

“ way to be blunt, Potter,” Draco said, surprised at Harry's uncharacteristic rudeness. Harry smirked and so did Draco. His heart fluttered.

They ordered more fire whiskeys and continued to drink. 

It was cold and getting late, so they agreed to walk back to the castle. Draco didn't realize the extent of his dizziness or headache until they began to walk. 

“Is drinking always like this? And why aren't you drunk? You had the same amount as me,” Draco said after being hit with a wave of sickness. 

Harry gave a small laugh. “It depends on the person, and I have built a high tolerance.”

They finally made it to the castle and took a shortcut to the common room. Draco was worried a teacher would see them out of bed, but Harry didn't seem to care about being caught.

The two boys eventually made it back and saw that there was no one there. Everyone was in bed. The room seems larger and darker with no one in it.

Draco's head felt like space, and his legs felt invisible. “I don't think I fancy this feeling,” Draco said. 

Harry laughed. “To each their own. Stay here, I'll be right back.” Draco watched as he rushed to the Gryffindor dorms. For a moment his heart plummeted. Draco was scared He wouldn't come back. But to his surprise, He did come back a moment later, and he was holding a bottle full of pills.

“It's muggle medicine. You will have a nasty headache in the morning, and over all you will feel like death. Take two of those. It will help.”

He gave Draco the medicine and their hands brushed each other, it felt electric. Their eyes met again and they quickly separated. 

“It feels like a fucking kaleidoscope in my head right now, so I better get to bed. Thanks for the medicine, Potter,” Draco said, avoiding awkwardness.

“Thanks for the company. And don’t be an ass this year,” Harry said. They both smirked and went their separate way. 

Draco worked his way to his room and sat down. He took off his shoes and lied down without bothering to change his clothes or turn the lamp off.

There were so many feelings going on in Draco's mind but he was dizzy and feeling sick, so He decided to follow potter’s advice and fall asleep. He would address his scrambling mind in the morning

~

Draco navigated the Hogwarts halls looking for his charms classroom. These halls felt very different and unfamiliar. He noticed some familiar faces walking to a classroom and decided to follow them.

Malfoy took out his parchment, quill and ink, and wand after finding the classroom and sitting in a seat. He noticed that everyone was walking around his table. no one showed even the slightest interest in wanting to sit with him. Typical.

There were no one Draco knew well in his first class of the day. Only a few people from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff he saw around school and the common room. Class started and still, no one sat next to Draco. He knew this would happen, but didn't want to admit that he hoped he had someone to trust here at Hogwarts.

Professor Flitwick started talking about the goals of the year but Draco wasn't listening. His mind was a maze. The events of last night were still stuck in it. Draco was, and is, very confused on the spontaneous walk Harry invited him on. Why would anyone, especially the boy he spent years bullying, Want to hang out with Draco, an alleged death eater?

Harry's words about Draco being innocent crossed his mind all morning. Even the thought of Harry Potter forgiving Draco Malfoy was unheard of until last night. He could make out any of the emotions he was experiencing. Everything was a wave of confusion.

“ Mr. Malfoy, Pay attention please,” Professor Flitwick shouted from across the room. Everyone turned around and looked at Draco. He sunk down farther into his chair, gave a slight nod to Professor and looked down. 

Was it necessary to bring all that attention towards me? These people hate me and I don't want to remind them I'm here. Fuck. Draco thought aggressively, almost as if he expected Flitwick to hear him.

Class continued without anything else noticeable happening. They took notes mostly. class had ended and Students flooded into the hallway and made their way to their next class. For Draco it was defense against the dark arts.

The day continued. Draco went to each class. His homework list had grown throughout the day, but it wasn't more than Draco could handle. He had to read an article for defence against the dark arts, answer a few questions for charms, and research a few spells for Transfiguration.

The last class of the day was potions.Professor Slughorn was enthusiastically greeting students at the door. He patted a student on the back, asked another student about his mother and gave everyone a sincere smile. When Draco got to him, though, Slughorn barely looked up.

“Ah, Malfoy. Had a nice summer I hope?” He said unconvincingly. Draco mumbled a quick yes and entered the classroom. not even the teachers fucking like me, He thought.

Draco entered the room discovered that all the tables were completely full. All spots were taken but one. None other than Harry, Ron and Hermione's table. Harry saw Draco and nodded to the seat to his left, at the end of the table. Draco took a deep breath, walked over and sat next to Harry. His head were full of fireworks. The second he sat down, Ron and Hermione were silent. Draco chose to ignore this. 

Draco fished inside his backpack and brought out the medicine Harry has given him last night. He slid the bottle over to harry without a word.

“Did it help? How was your morning?” Harry asked while slipping the bottle into his book bag. 

“ Like you promised, I felt like death. Whatever that shit is, it helped a lot,” draco said while still looking at the table. 

“Oh the joys of muggle medicine. Nothing finer,” Harry said in a dreamy voice. Draco gave a slight laugh. 

Professor Slughorn started class and introduced what types of potions they would be learning about, and their ingredients. Draco has always been excellent at potions, but he was a major kiss ass to Snape. Draco had a feeling that this teacher wasn't as fond of him this year.

They began chopping up some ingredients for an instant energy spell. Draco was dicing a collection of herbs and heating his cauldron until something hit his head violently. Draco heard snickers and laughs coming from the table behind him. 

He looked down and discovered it was a ball of paper with writing inside of it. He unraveled the ball carefully and his heart sunk when he read the words upon it:

Pureblood, Death eater scum. You're a waste of space. Just Fucking leave room for the rest of us and get out of Hogwarts.

Draco crossed out the words “pureblood, death eater scum” and replaced it with “ Gryffindor, nosey scum”. He ungracefully wadded the paper back into a ball and threw it at the table as hard as he could, all while Simultaneously flipping them off.

Draco returned his attention back towards his ingredients and spent the rest of class perfecting his potion. He dropped off a bit of his potion to professor Slughorn alongside his classmates. After returning to the table and cleaned up his work station, all vials were handed in, and all work stations were cleaned. Draco got out of that classroom as fast as possible. 

{Harry's P.O.V}

Harry, Ron and Hermione were released from potions class and they took off down the hall. Ron was obviously annoyed with Harry. 

“Okay, Ron, you're clearly upset so why don't you tell me why?” Harry said impatiently.

“I thought it was obvious. Guess not. Why did you invite that bloke Malfoy to sit with us? I'm pretty sure i made it very clear that I don't like him,” Ron told Harry after a dramatic sigh.

“There was nowhere else for him to sit! It's not like I put up a huge neon sign that blinked 'Sit Here, Draco Malfoy’. That seat was the only one available in the whole room, so he had no choice but to sit there. I'm sure he disliked sitting with you as much as you dislike having him at the table” 

Ron didn't know how to respond, so instead he asked “what do you think, Hermione?”.

Hermione seemed surprised to be addressed, but answered quickly. “I'm sorry, but I'm with Harry,” she said while looking apologetically at ron. “I don't think Draco is as bad as he is made out to be. Having him sit with us for one class a day isn't that big of a deal.”

This answer seemed to anger Ron more, and he stormed ahead of his two friends. Harry and Hermione watched as he disappeared down the hall.

Hermione looked guilty and upset about making her boyfriend angry, so harry said “don't worry, he is just being an ass. He will forget about it by Tomorrow”. This earned a small laugh from Hermione, and she shook her head in agreement.

“Want to go sit by the lake?” Hermione asked. Harry nodded yes and they stepped outside. 

The cold air took Harry by surprise, but it was also a pleasant temperature in his opinion. They took a lap around the lake talking about their first day of classes. They eventually found a tree with a nice view and decided to sit down. 

Harry and Hermione discussed some of the new staff and how they felt about them. It was overall a very light hearted chat. 

“How are you doing?” Hermione asked after a few moments of silence.

“Oh, I'm peachy,” Harry said sarcastically. Hermione gave him a stop-joking-around face, so he continued on. “i’m better, I think. You were right. Coming back to Hogwarts could be the right thing for me.”

“I'm glad.” Hermione said truthfully. “I have a question… why have you been sticking up for Draco so much? You seem very… defensive about him.”

Harry's heart leaped at the name. He didn't know how to answer, as he himself didn't know why he suddenly cared About Malfoy. He doesn't know why he asked to go on a walk with him, or why he asked Draco to sit with them. All he knew was that when he was around Draco… it was a very familiar feeling to when he kissed ginny. Deep down harry knows what this feeling is, but he isn't prepared to admit it.

“I witnessed the war differently than others. I was much more… involved. It was my life, my reality. I saw warriors and soldiers on both side's. Draco appeared to be on the bad side, but i could tell he was on our side, even if he didn't say it. I can tell he isn't bad. The war messed with him, and I feel that on a personal level,” Harry explained. Everything he said was true, but he knew there was more to the sudden interest in the boy.

“I agree with you, Harry, i really do, but I don't think Ron could ever forgive him,” Hermione said while ripping up a blade of grass she plucked from the ground.

“For what?” Harry exclaimed. “I know he was a jerk to us in school, but that's what kids are, they're jerks! It was a stupid grudge from when we were kids.”

“I think it's about me,” Hermione said. “All the stupid blood feuds. He called me mudblood and lots of other racist terms. I don't care much anymore, but Ron was more upset by it than anyone else.”

They sat against the tree in silent agreement. Harry finally understood why Ron doesn't like Draco. Damn. He was mentally beating himself up for taking so long to realize.

Harry and Hermione decided to walk back to the castle for dinner. Hermione gave Harry her gloves to keep his hands warm in the rapidly decreasing temperature. They made a joke out of it, as the gloves were too small and covered in a floral pattern. 

“ I can definitely pull these off. What do you think?” Harry asked while laughing and pulling an unbalanced pose with his hands.

“ You most certainly can pull those off,” She said while giving him an approving nod.

They entered the castle, ate, and headed back to the common room with their stomachs full. Homework was piling up, and they didn't want to be behind in their work, so they took a seat near the fireplace with their cats and started to do their Transfiguration homework.

“Hermione, where is the spell tha-”

“Page 64,” Hermione said without looking away from her book.

Crookshanks got up and sat on hermione's lap. Harlen stretched himself out in front of the fireplace.

They continued to work for an hour. Yawns were frequent and the common room was almost empty. Harry finished his last question for charms homework and closed his book in triumph.

“Done,” Harry said with a sigh. “I'm finally done. I'm gonna turn in. You?”

“Might as well. There isn't much more I could do tonight. See you Tommorow.” 

Harry grabbed Harlan and disappeared into his room. He sat down at his desk, and looked at the scar on his hand. It was a very strange feeling that four months ago he was worried about saving the wizarding world and staying alive. A month ago, he was worried about his friends leaving because of his isolation. Now, Harry is worrying about a certain blond haired Slytherin boy.

A bottle of gin sat at the back of Harry's desk. He looked at it for a second and took a deep breath. Harry started thinking of the crisp and smokey smell of Draco, and how close they were during potions. He turned away from the bottle without taking a drink.

Harry put away his school books. He changed into flannel pajama pants, turned off the lamp and went to sleep with Draco in mind.

~Draco P.O.V~

when Draco sat down in potions class the next day, he was disappointed to see that Harry Potter wasn't there. That meant that there was nothing separating Hermione and Ron from Draco. Ron looked over at Draco and gave him the same dirty look he had giving him in the carriage a few days earlier. Draco looked down at his hands 

“Where's Harry?” He heard Ron say to Hermione.

“He told me he’s skipping today.” Hermione answered him.

Why would Harry skip? Draco wondered if he was okay. 

Draco spent the rest of class writing notes and doodling on the side of his parchment. He tried to scoot his chair as far away from Ron and Hermione as the table would allow. Class was dismissed right as Draco finished drawing a feather. 

Students spilled out of the classroom and Draco returned to his room. He opened a window, put a cigarette in his mouth and lit it. Draco started smoking after the war, as it relaxed him and created a reason for him to isolate himself.

The cigarette laid calmly on his lips as he exhaled a puff of smoke out of the corner of his mouth. He cracked open his textbook and started his homework.

A foot of parchment and one cigarette later, Draco was done with his homework and needed to walk around. He flicked his cigarette butt out the window and went into the common room. There were still a few people sitting by the fire and chatting. He crawled out of the portrait and left to walk down one of the long corridors. 

The taste of smoke was still present in Draco's mouth. At first he wasn't a fan of the aftertaste, but he soon adjusted. The halls were silent and the windows were fogged. It was dark and cold. Familiar, yet foreign.

Draco made no sound as he slowly walked down the empty sound. He would stop a couple times and slide his fingers across the wall. Eventually he found himself walking past a bathroom. And all of the sudden, the calm and lonely atmosphere changed...

Hands pulled Draco into the bathroom. He tried to yell but another hand covered his mouth. He couldn't tell who pulled him into the bathroom but he could tell it wasn't a friend.

Draco took a huge bite out of the person's hand until it drew blood. This was returned by the strange person punching him in the nose and sending him flying to the floor. Taking advantage of being away from the attacker, Draco yelled as loud as he could, in some pointless hope that someone in the deserted halls would hear. 

Draco could finally see who this person was, but it wasn't just one person, there were four. It was the people who sat behind him in potions, the people who had given him the foul note. 

“This is for everyone who died because of you. Death Eater scum,” A girl said. The person Draco had bitten was now holding his hand in pain.

“I didn't fucking kill anyone!” Draco shouted as he tried to stand up. 

“Liar! crucio!” 

Draco fell to the floor again. He almost blacked out because of the pain, and he wishes he had. It felt like his skull was being ripped apart. Draco gave an agonizing yell and somehow managed to mumble a soft “stop...”.

The spell stopped and Draco laid unmoving on the ground. But It wasn't long until he was kicked hard in the ribs. 

“you're… Fucking… useless!” The attacker said in between kicks. Draco was powerless. 

One brought out a knife and started to carve something into the area below his collarbone. Draco gave out a muffled scream. He managed a quick look at what the girl was cutting, it said “Scum”.

All four of them ganged up and began to cut and punch him. They were yelling things, but Draco didn't listen. He felt defeated. Useless. At that moment, Draco realized that nobody would care if he died. These people certainly didn't. No one would care…

If he had a funeral, no one would attend. No one would mourn him. Draco wouldn't mind them killing him. It would be an easy way out. He almost Wanted to be killed now. He was humiliated. He was useless. 

After what felt like an eternity, they stopped. One of them held up their wand and muttered a spell. it created a long gash that instantly started to bleed. They then held up their wand and said a different spell. This made the words carved on Draco's neck deeper and darker.

Then, without warning, one of them took a three inch blade and stabbed him in the shoulder. Draco yelled in agony as the knife was ripped out of him.

“I think we made our point here,” she said while pocketing the knife. “If, well, you live, and you tell anyone what we did, we will be back with friends, and we will make sure you die.”

And so they left. It was quiet in the bathroom, It was peaceful. Draco didn't want to get up, and he didn't want to call for help. That means he would have to deal with what just happened. He could just lie on the bathroom floor forever. Draco became light headed as he started to bleed from his many injuries. 

He was in his back. He looked at the high ceiling and counted the rings around the circular indent. His clothes were damp with blood. His face was hot from tears and cuts. He was defeated. 

And suddenly, Harry walked into the bathroom. He sees Draco, curses out of surprise, and rushes over. He is Talking to him and trying to help him up, but Draco isn't focussing on Harry. He is still looking at the ceiling.

“Who did this? Answer me!” Harry is talking fast and pleading with him.

But Draco is defeated. He is a piece of broken glass. He is fragile. The once feared boy was lying powerless and bloody on a bathroom floor.

A single tear rolls down the defeated boys face and tickles his ear. 

He looks into Harry's eyes and says “...I'm defeated."


	4. Art in a Museum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the story of Harry fighting for Draco's life begins, many things transpire in this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am starting school now so I definitely will try to upload every two weeks, buy I might need an extra day or two. I didn't get time for it last week but I will start to join chapter 1 and 2 together and do some work on it so it is better.

Warm blood covered the cold bathroom floor. The red clashed with the white tiles. It was beautiful in a way…

Draco tunned back into the real world. Harry was still panicking and talking fast. He kneeled in the pile of blood Draco was just admiring seconds before. 

“Draco, what happened,” Harry said as he calmed down.

Draco. He had called him Draco. Harry has never called him by his first name. He immediately felt lighter, something sparked inside of him, and Draco was snapped back to reality. He couldn't undo what just happened, but he could try his best to live.

“They… stabbed...hit...” Draco tried his best to speak. It was hard to look into Harry's now sad and worried eyes. The green seemed to be darker.

“Stabbed? Where were you stabbed?” Harry said. This made him look scared and worried. 

Draco gave a slight nod to his shoulder. Now that his attention was brought back to the wound, it increased in pain. Harry touched it and Draco flinched due to the pain. He let out a whimper that slowly transformed into a cough. To both of the boy horror, specks of blood were visible on Draco's pale lips.

“This is worse than I thought. I need to get you to the hospital wing,” harry said with an unsteady voice.

“No!” Draco yelled, causing him to cough up more blood. “I can't go there.”

“You'll die if you don't!”

“I can't… I don't want to… take me anywhere else.” Draco was looking into Harry's soft green eyes.

“I… okay. I'm taking you to the room of Requirements.” Harry picked up Draco with a surprisingly small amount of effort.

Draco fell limply into Potter's strong arms. His whole body ached, and his clothes were covered in blood. 

I'm going to die, Draco thought. He can't save me. I'll die here, in Hogwarts.

Cuts and bruises were in every corner of Draco's body, and being mobile made each of them ache and bleed. Harry was rushing down the hall with Draco curled in his arms. He was muttering encouraging words as he walked, but his voice was shaking. 

Harry looked down at Draco and their eyes met. Each of them showed a strong message in one look. Draco gave Harry a pained look that told him to give up. Harry's eyes emitted a strong look that said he would not let go.

“How many times do I have to see you bloody on a bathroom floor?” Harry joked to draco. He had forgotten about the duel they had in that some bathroom. Draco thought it was ironic and gave a pained laugh.

They were coming close to the room of Requirements, but Draco's state was decreasing rapidly; He was seeing black spots and his eyelids were drooping. Draco buried his nose into Harry's arm. He breathed in the warm and gin riddled sent of the boy. He immediately felt calmer and more at ease. Even with all of the excitement, Harry's heart fluttered at having Draco this close to Him. He smelled of nature and smoke.

Harry stopped for a moment and closed his eyes. Seconds later, a door appeared and welcomed them inside. The large room they entered looked like a hospital room, but much friendlier. There were bottles full of potions across the wall and a tray full of bandages, scissors and other medical necessities. Harry hurried and laid Draco down onto the hospital bed gently. 

“I will be right back, I promise. okay?” Harry said in a hurry. Draco mumbled something of a “yes” and Harry hurried down the hall.

He was almost running as he hurried back to the common room. There were so many thoughts in his head right now, but the thing that stood out in his head was the fact that he just saw and carried a bloody Draco Malfoy. 

He almost shouted the password at the portrait when he arrived at the common room and climbed inside. He was instantly relieved when he saw Hermione was sitting by the fire and doing her homework.

“You need to come with me, now.” Harry said while pulling her up.

“Harry? What the hell? What's wrong?”

“I don't have time to explain. It's important and… just… trust me. I really need your help,” Harry said, pleading with Hermione.

“okay, fine. Yeah.” At these words harry grabbed her arm and they ran through the halls. 

They made it back to the room of  
Requirements and Harry threw the reappearing door opening. 

Hermione saw Draco on the bed, injured and bloody, and was immediately confused and frightened. “why is he- who di- what?” Hermione stuttered.

They rushed to Draco's bed as Harry explained. “I found him on the bathroom floor. He was beat up. He was stabbed in the shoulder and he has lots of deep cuts and bruises. Help me heal him”.

“I don't know if I'm qualified, harry. It would be better to take him to the hospital wing.”

“I don't think we have that much time…” 

Hermione looked overwhelmed, but after taking a second to process the situation she started to gather materials. 

Draco flinched and mumbled “why… is she here”.

“Because I want you to live and she can heal you obviously,” Harry said while helping hermione by removing Draco's already sliced up T shirt.

The amount of pain Draco was experiencing from a fatal injury was distracting, but all the was focusing on was the fact that Harry wanted him to live… he was trying this hard to save Malfoy's life, and he wasn't used to that.

Draco was the most tired he has ever felt. It was like every ounce of energy and life was taken from him. His eyes shut…

“Hermione, he’s falling asleep what do I do?”  
Harry said worriedly.

“Talk to him. Make sure he says awake,” Hermione told Harry sternly as she checked to see if the knife hit anything vital. 

Harry shook Draco until his eyes open. 

“You have to stay awake. Talk to me, okay?” Harry said to a tired Draco.

“I… can't live. I don't want to. I can't.” Draco said whilst looking at the wall.

At these words harry was silent. He didn't expect the once infamous Draco Malfoy to talk of such a thing. After he had processed what he had said, harry began to speak. “you will not die. I will make sure of it. You need to stay alive.”

“Worthless… they called me worthless…”

“ No, you're not. You made an honest mistake and owned up to it. That's way better than whatever they have done. You are not worthless.”

Fresh tears rolled over the dried ones on Draco's cheeks. He winced again as Hermione applied a potion to his shoulder.

Draco grasped limply at Harry's shirt, unaware of what he was trying to do. “ I can't do it. Harry, Let me die, please.” Tears mixed with blood and left red streaks as they rolled down his pale skin.

Harry couldn't hide the fact that those words saddened him. He had said Harry's name. Not Potter… he said “Harry”.

He looked into Draco's shocking, grey eyes and saw a look of defeat and weakness in them. It killed Harry inside. Before he could think of something to say to Draco's plead, Hermione started to talk to him. Her voice showed worry.

“There was poison on the blade. If it gets deeper into his system it will shut down all his organs,” she explained.

“Well,” harry said firmly, “what do we do?”

“I need to burn the potion. If I burn the skin around the cut it will stop the potion from getting farther into his body.” 

“What do you need me to do?”

“it will hurt him. A lot. Hold him down and make sure he doesn't move or i could hurt him more.” Hermione gave Harry a firm but reassuring look. He nodded at her and they began. Hermione started to burn Draco's shoulder with her wand, and he let out a loud scream.

“Stop…!” Draco screamed out. Harry was devastated to hear the pained word be yelled out. Harry could barely look at Draco. 

After He screamed and yelled for another minute, Draco abruptly fell silent. After a few seconds, he started to shake violently. His eyes rolled back in his head and harry lost grip on his shoulders. 

“Fuck, i think he is having a seizure!” Harry yelled to Hermione.

“You need to hold him still!” Hermione said as she tried to continue her work.

Harry made a decision. He climbed into the bed Draco was in and straddled his chest. he held Draco's arms down and tried his best to keep him from moving.

“C’mon... c'mon,” harry muttered. He wasn't sure if he was talking to Draco, Hermione, or himself.

After this continued on for a few minutes, Hermione was done. She put a paste on Draco's shoulder and wrapped a bandage from his neck down to his bicep. Draco was no longer shaking and was now asleep on the bed.

Harry was sitting next to Draco and both him and Hermione had calmed down.

“Should we see what other injuries he has?” Harry asked hermione. 

“I already looked at the other cuts, they weren't poisoned. I can heal what I can, but some things were cursed on, and will leave a scar.” 

Harry looked at the shirtless Draco and it wasn't until then that he noticed how badly he had been attacked. There were large, purple bruises along his ribcage and back. There were small cuts all over his body but the worst was the long cut on his high Cheekbone. 

Harry cleaned Draco's face with a wet towelette. He gazed at his strong but soft facial structure as he cleaned the blood off his pale lips. The loud blood laid dried upon Draco's light skin, It was oddly beautiful. Harry applied a large bandage to his cheek and healed the bruise on his forehead with his wand. 

He then moved down to his neck. He cleaned off a trail of fresh blood to reveal large letters that read “scum”. Harry's breath stopped as he read the word.

“Hermione… did you see this?” Harry showed her the carved word.

“Oh… Wow. What the hell happened to him?” She took a closer look at the wound. 

“I told you all I know,” harry explained. “I found him on the bathroom floor. He told me he was beat up and that people called him… worthless.” 

“People? So it was more than one person?”

“Yeah, he said 'they’... can you heal it?”

Hermione cleaned the carved word and said a healing spell. It didn't budge. She looked at harry and shook her head. 

She put another large bandage upon his collarbone and got back to organizing the potions.

Harry continued to admire Draco's torso. He healed some of the small cuts. Healing bruises this large was much more advanced than Hermione and harry knew so they had to leave them alone. Harry was able to mend some of his broken ribs, though.

Scars upon Draco's chest caught Harry's eye. He was confused to why they were there, but was startled and felt guilty when he realized what they were. The large scar was from when they had duelled in the bathroom in their sixth year, When he had used the spell from Snape. Harry traced his finger down the light scar. Hermione was turning back towards them and harry quickly removed his finger. 

Harry continued to eye draco's body until he found something Else that was interesting. The dark mark on his left forearm. Harry knew it was there, but it was still a surprise to see it. At a closer inspection, he found that there was drawings all across His arm. There were flowers and feathers. Grass and waves. It was beautiful. It was a work of art. Upon the dark mark there was faded drawings of flowers coming out of every shape. Harry smiled.

“How did you find him?” Hermione asked Harry while putting bandages back on the shelf.

“I was just walking around,” Harry explained. “I heard a noise and decided to check it out. They were gone before I got there.”

Hermione sat in the chair across from harry. “You know that these people… they had the intention to kill him. That Poison is specially designed to torture and kill.”

Harry nodded. “ he needs to stay hidden for a while.”

“How should we do That?” Hermione asked. 

“I don't know… let him stay in here? He probably shouldn't go back to class for a few days, So he can heal and stay away from others.”

“Who would stay here with him? He probably won't want to be alone,” Hermione said.

“I can,” Harry said quickly. “The teachers already know i skip class, and they won't think me and Him are hanging out.” Hermione agreed. There was silence.

Harry looked at Draco and thought, thank God I didn't let you die

~~

Draco woke up to unfamiliar surroundings. He tried to get up from the white bed he was laying in, but his eyes immediately blurred from pain. While letting out a groan, he sank back into the comfortable bed. 

“Oh, good. You're awake.” Draco looked to his left and was greeted by Harry's bright green eyes and black hair that handsomely frames his face. He was sitting in a chair next to Draco's bed with his feet up on a silver cart. 

“What’s going on? Why are you here?” Draco said.

“Well, you had a seizure and then blacked out, we healed your shoulder but you will want to rest for a few days until it is fully healed. It will still hurt a bit. I healed your broken ribs, and here's a potion to help with the bruises,” harry answered him. Draco cautiously drank the thick potion on the cart Harry's feet were propped upon.

Draco looked at harry, puzzled. He was alive… he didn't know how to feel about that. His body ached and he was tired and hungry. He also really needed a smoke.

“We couldn't heal some things, though. The cuts on your cheek and collar bone… they were cursed on, so they will leave a scar, and you will need to wait for them to heal.” 

He was upset by this news. The dark mark was a constant reminder of the war, now there were two more things permanently branded onto him that will remind him of this. 

“What's going on? Like now,” Draco asked again.

“It's eleven fifteen. You're obviously not going to be able to go to school for a week or so. You can stay in here for as long as you need, and I can stay in here with you. If you want.” 

“Oh, er. Yeah, sure,” Draco said, trying to dumb down his excitement for Harry being here. “Whatever.”

Draco looked down and discovered he was wearing a white and blue T-shirt with black, comfortable joggers. None of these clothes were his own.

“Oh, those are my clothes. There is also a sweater here if you want it,” harry said, responding to Draco's confused look.

Draco took a stealthy sniff of the shirt he was wearing. It spelled warm. It smelled like Harry...Draco suddenly felt much more comfortable.

“You healed me…?” Draco said to Harry.

“Well, yeah. Hermione did most of the work, though.”

“But, you didn't let me die. You saved me, again,” Draco said, still surprised that he was alive and fine.

“yeah. Why would I let you die?”

“I thought that no one would help me. I was convinced that I would die and no one would be upset about it,” Draco was surprised to hear himself say this, but Harry wasn't.

“Those assholes were trying to make you think like that. They made sure you felt worthless and now that idea is in your head. It's part of being a human being. Minds are easy to control.”

“Well, I guess i picked the wrong time to be a human being.” Draco looked at all the assorted glasses on the shelf In Front of him, unaware of what else to do. After moments of continued silence, Draco's stomach rumbled, making his hunger public.

“Hungry? I can go down to the kitchens to get food if you want,” harry offered. 

Draco nodded. “Can you get me a pack of cigarettes, too?” 

Harry snapped and pointed to Draco to indicate he heard him. “I'll be back soon.” Harry left, leaving the room silent again. 

In an effort to stay occupied Draco decided to try to walk around and explore the room. He was becoming antsy from the lack of smokes. After painfully swinging his legs over the bed, Draco stood up. It was okay at first, so he started to walk. After a few seconds the pain returned and his knees buckled, causing him to crash down onto the floor. He punched the ground in frustration.

Deciding not to get up, Draco scooted over to the closest wall and put his back up against it. He was mad and felt useless. He wanted to hurt the people who did this to him, but he was also scared of what they could, or would do to him now. Draco couldn't tell anyone who they were. They had said they would kill him, and he didn't doubt that they would. He sat there for ten more minutes. Draco made a growling noise out of annoyance. Harry was taking too long. Draco was hungry, on the cold floor, and really needed a cigarette.

The one and only upside to this whole situation, was harry. Draco was overjoyed at the fact that Harry would be staying with and helping him for at least a week. It was lonely in the room of Requirements, but Harry's presence gave the room an entire new feeling.

After a while more of sitting on the ground, the huge twin doors opened and in walked harry, carrying two trays full of food. He looked at the bed and was puzzled to see Draco absent from it. Harry scanned the room and still couldn't see him. He began to Panic.

“hiya,” Draco said from the ground.

Harry was startled by Draco's welcoming and stepped back. “Why are you on the floor?”

“Oh you know, just looked like a swell place to sit.”

The trays of food were placed on the silver cart and harry walked over to help Draco. He put his arm around his shoulders and they both stood up slowly. Draco grunted in pain and harry said a sincere “sorry”. They both were so close to each other. Draco smelled of Rain. Harry smelled of gin and fire.

Draco collapsed back onto the bed. It wasn't until then that Draco realised the severity his injuries were. There had been times that Draco didn't want to be alive, but he's not sure he would like to die bloody on a bathroom floor. He was grateful that Harry saved him, but he also felt undeserving. 

“Really, why were you on the floor?” Harry asked him again.

“I tried to get up, wanted to walk around. Didn't go too well,” Draco explained. 

“Give it time. Healing won't be easy.” Harry rolled the silver cart to the edge of the bed. “Good news is, food.”

“Great,” Draco said while eyeing the food hungrily.

Harry pulled up a chair and they ate together. They chat about classes and books, Current events and their life. It was warm. It was friendly. They eventually got into a deeper conversation.

“You know, sometimes I think 'what's the point? The worst has happened. People I care about have died and the war is over. So does it matter if I don't pay rent or I don't keep up with my homework?’” Harry shoveled scrambled eggs into his mouth.

“Totally,” Draco agreed. “ Sometimes at school, I think 'i already have a bad reputation. People already think I'm a dick, do why don't I just act like a dick?’ I realized it's kinda stupid now.”

“Yeah, you could have handled that a bit better,” Harry smirked. 

Draco dropped his fork and knife to indicate he was done with his food. 

“Well that was terrific. Give the house elf's my love next time you go down there,” Draco said with a full stomach. “Also, did you get the cigarettes?”

“Ah, yes I did.” Harry reached into his Jean pocket and handed a pack to Draco. 

“Nice, Good work. How did you find them?” Draco said while opening the pack and taking a cigarette out.

“A very eager house elf. Hope I got the right brand.” 

“ Very much so.” Draco placed the cigarette at the corner of his mouth, lit a small fire with his want and brought it to the cigarette hanging at his lips. He let out a puff of smoke and It glided gently into the cold air. Harry stared At Draco with a concentrated look. 

“Take a picture, it will last longer,” Draco said.

Harry ignored this comment. A moment later he asked “why do you smoke?”

Draco looked at him and smirked. He let out another puff of smoke before taking the cigarette out of his mouth. “Everything. The feeling, the smell, the taste. It relaxes me. It looks cool. It's just something I enjoy and need to do.”

“... Can I try one?” 

Draco laughed. “go right ahead.” 

Harry took a cigarette into his hands and Draco lit it for him. He took a puff and instantly started to cough, which made Draco laugh even more. 

Once Harry was finished coughing, draco said “you get used to it. Well, I did. It's not for everyone.” 

Harry took another puff and didn't cough this time. “No… I like it.” Both boys smiled at eachother. They looked into each other's eyes in silence. Their faces were inches apart and they could feel each other breath. They were silent.

A potion bottle fell and smashed to the floor. Draco snapped away from harry and blushed. 

“Um… I'll clean that,” harry said awkwardly. 

“I'm tired. I'm just gonna sleep I think,” Draco told him. Harry muttered “okay” and Draco rolled over and closed his eyes. The only thing he could think of was how close they were...

~~~ 

Draco was standing in a forest. An unfamiliar, cold forest with the ground covered in frost and the brown leaves hanging limply off branches. It was dark and cold, and he was only in a T shirt and joggers. Harry's clothes.

He yelled out. “help!” The only sound that answered was the echoes of his voice. 

He walked slowly and cautiously. He ripped an already loose leaf from a tree and felt it with his fingers. It broke apart and the wind carried it away. In mid air, the broken leaf turned into a broad figure. The figure of his father. 

“You will never be good enough,” his father told Draco, with a stony demeanor.

Draco was startled by his father's sudden appearance. He quickly spin around to see if anyone else was there, but he was alone with his father. The only person besides harry who dared to bully him in his childhood.

“You are worthless. A disgrace to the Malfoy name.” His words echoed against the night sky.   
“the Malfoys name is already disgraced. You're the one in azkaban, not me,” draco said in a bold voice. He was speaking bravely, but was terrified in reality. The blurry figure of his father seemed to not hear his comment.

“Do you actually think I would ever forgive you?” This was a different voice. A colder version of one he knew very well. Draco turned around and saw Harry Potter standing directly across from Lucius. 

Draco's breath was caught in his throat. Not him, Draco thought. Anyone but him.

“You're a horrible person! And you actually believed I would be Friends with you? Or god forbid, Love you?” Harry gave a cold laugh at the end of his statement. 

Draco was now on the verge of tears. He desperately shouted “shut up!”

Lucius and harry both said “I will never love you.”

Draco stepped forward and tried to punch Harry. His fist flew right threw him. Both figures turned to black smoke and were carried away by the wind.

Just as he thought it was over Draco look at the large tree to his right and discovered shapes were being carved into the wood. Letters slowly started to spell out “scum,” in the handwriting of his attackers. It was the same handwriting as it was on his shoulder. Blood started to ooze from the words on the tree and Draco felt a pain so horrible he almost fell over. He looked at his chest to discover gallons of blood were pouring out of the word carved in his skin. The white shirt he was wearing was now damp with blood. 

The words “scum” and “worthless” were echoing around the forest. They whispered against the cold air and swarmed around Draco's head no matter how hard he presses his Hands to his ears. 

Draco sank to his knees and screamed, trying anything to block out the words, he would crack his head open if necessary. But suddenly, silence. He opened his eyes to find himself in the room of Requirements. He was on the floor and an alarmed harry was looking at him. 

“You're awake! Are you okay?” Harry said, looking relived. 

“I'm.. I…” Draco tried to muster up something to say but he was still confused and scared. 

“ You were sleeping and started to freak out. You were yelling and then you fell on the floor. I came over and you started to attack me,” harry explained. “are you okay? What was the dream about?” He seemed out of breath and worn down.

Draco looked at harry and did something unexpected. He hugged him. He jumped forward and forced his arms around harry while burying his face into Harry's neck.

Harry was startled, but slowly put his arms on Draco's back. Draco was crying. Sobbing into his shirt. Harry calmly said “it's alright,” and “just a dream. It was just a dream”. Draco kept murmuring things about his dream that Harry didn't understand like “they said i'll never be good enough”. 

They stayed like that for what seemed like hours. Draco was clinging to harry like he would never see him again. the cold stone floor supported them in the darkness. Nothing but the sound of Draco crying and the rain falling against the window could be heard around the large room. 

Eventually Draco fell silent. Harry realized he had fallen asleep again. He picked the boy up and laid him gently onto the bed. After covering Draco gently with a soft wool blanket, Harry sat in the chair next to the bed and watched over Him. 

What just happened was so uncharacteristically Draco that harry was still surprised. His heart felt like it was torn in two and he couldn't bear seeing Draco so broken like that. 

He watching over the boy to make sure he didn't need anything else. Harry was awake long into the night and his eyes slowly started to shut. He felt asleep uncomfortably in the wood chair. 

~

The next morning Draco sat up in his bed with the tray of food Harry had brought him, but he wasn't hungry. Well, he was actually starving, but he couldn't bring himself to eat. 

While Draco aimlessly pushed eggs around his plait, harry looked at him. Neither one of the boys had forgotten the events that took place during the night.

“Not hungry?” Harry asked. Draco shook his head no. 

The dream seemed to drain Him of all life. He couldn't get over it. Draco is accustomed to bad dreams and used to have them every night, but for the past few days he was having pleasantly dream free sleep, even with everything that happened to him in the bathroom. All the emotions and trauma must have built up. This dream in particular hit very close to home. It showed his father, talked about the events that transpired days earlier, and… harry. More specifically, harry saying he would never love or be friends with Draco. The idea broke him.

Deciding he didn't want to eat, Draco moved to put his tray on the silver cart. The sudden movements sent pain through Draco's ribs and he winced. Having fallen out of his bed and attacking harry in his sleep, his already painfully healing ribs must have broken again.

Harry told Draco about how much he fought him in his sleep. Apparently it wasn't just a few kicks. Harry said Draco was kicking, punching and clawing at harry for A few minutes. He was relentless and wouldn't stop. Draco felt guilty for hurting harry.

He grabbed a cigarette and lit it after carefully placing it on his lips. He had already finished three cigarettes just that morning. Draco had also noticed that Harry's breath smelled specifically strongly of whiskey. It was the first time in days he had smelled of such.

The large doors of the room of Requirements opened suddenly, alarming Draco. Hermione Granger walked in and shut the twin doors quickly to avoid people noticing her. Worry arose in Draco. He had seen Hermione days before, but he was hurt and partially unconscious and could barely remember some of her visit. 

Rising from his seat, harry got up to greet his friend where she stood at the door. They whispered something to each other that draco couldn't hear, proceeding to make him more nervous. Both of them walked to Draco.

“Why are you here, Granger?” Draco asked, sounding ruder than he intended.

His bluntness seemed to go unnoticed by her as she answered calmly. “Just checking up on your injuries. Aren't your ribs hurt again?”

“Oh,” he said with his cigerrete still in his mouth. “I guess, yeah.”

“What happened?” She asked, this time addressing Harry. Draco panicked, he didn't necessarily want others to know what had happened.

“He fell out of his bed, while sleeping,” harry answered. Draco looked at his hands. 

“He just… fell out? That's it?” She asked Harry.

“Yep,” harry lied. Draco's head shot up and looked at him. He gave Draco a look to say i-have-you-covered, and Draco was relieved.

“Take off your shirt,” Hermione said to Draco.

“Look I'm flattered, but I don't think of you in that way,” He joked. Harry laughed.

Hermione smiled a bit and then repeated herself; Draco took off his shirt with a wince of pain and felt extremely exposed to have two people examining his bare chest, especially harry.

Being the first time Draco had seen himself without a shirt for a couple days, he was surprised and slightly nauseated by the sight of his cut up chest, the bled through bandage on his shoulder, and the purple bruising along his ribcage. 

Hermione ripped off the crusted bandage upon his shoulder and cleaned the wound with some alcohol; she looked at his shoulder for a worrying amount of time.

After more examining, she looked afraid. She leaned over and whispered something to Harry, and upon hearing what she whispered he looked frightened too.

“What? What's wrong?” Draco asked them. After seconds of no response he continued. “Hellooo. Wounded person here, who's afraid of what you are whispering.”

“The poison that was on the blade spread,” Hermione explained. “ There's something I can do, a spell, but it's painful… it will take you longer to heal, too.”

“What will happen if you don't do it?”

“You will die a slow and painful death,” harry said. He sounded sarcastic but there was also a quiver in his voice that indicated worry. 

“It's tempting… but whatever. Do it.”

After taking a few minutes to prep and prepare, they were ready. Hermione strapped Draco's arms, legs and torso to the bed because “you need to be completely still or else I could hurt you more”. 

“You're a kinky one, aren't you,” Draco joked when Harry fastened one of the belts along his lower stomach. Harry gave a small smile but also looked… scared. Draco suddenly realized that the situation was much worse than he had thought. If harry Potter, the boy who lived, was scared of what was to happen next, it must be pretty fucking bad. 

“Ready?” Hermione asked Draco. 

“Ready as I'll ever be,” Draco said. He put his cigarette in the ashtray next to him and took a deep breath.

Hermione muttered a series of incantations while holding her wand just above his shoulder. The pain started sooner than Draco had wanted and expected. A warm feeling started in his shoulder that soon evolved to an agonizing burn. He half expected to look down and see his shoulder on fire. It only got worse from there. 

As the spell ate away at the poison running through his body, it felt as though lava was traveling through Draco's Veins. He could feel it at every inch of his body, and it was agonizing. 

Fighting the restraints and clenching his fists so hard that his nails drew blood was all Draco could do to deal with the pain. He bit his lip to stop himself from screaming, but it got to a point that he gave up and let himself yell. His eyes watered and he regretted signing himself up for this. Dyeing slowly seemed like a better option than whatever this is. 

Just as he was getting used to the pain, out of nowhere, a sharp, incredibly painful stab of pain hit him near his shoulder. Draco screamed. He then blacked out from the agonizing pain.

“Shit!” Hermione yelled. 

“What?” Harry asked.

“The poison is fighting back. It's causing internal damage.”

“What can you do? What next?” Harry asked quickly.

“Harry… I don't think there is anything we can do”

“what? Of course there is. Just fucking save him, Hermione!” he shouted. She looked at him and didn't say anything. “Fine. If you won't do anything, I will.”

Harry hurried to the wall of assorted potions and started reading the labels. After rushing to find a potion, harry found one that said “curationis organum: for internal bleeding or organ failure”.

After forcing the contents of the bottle down Draco's throat, harry didn't know what to do. Draco didn't seem to be in pain any more, but he was still unconscious, and harry couldn't tell if it had worked or not. He sat down in the chair next to Draco's bed. His face looked calm. 

~

Draco didn't wake up for hours…. Days. By then Hermione had left and would only stop in once a day. Harry, however, would not leave his side. He wouldn't shower or change clothes or sleep. He ignored the trays of food Hermione would bring and he only drank a little water and a lot of Firewhiskey.

Five days went by of Draco being unconscious. Harry straddled the now familiar chair by Draco's bed and sipped a glass of whiskey. He heard the loud doors open and Hermione walked in. “Hey.”

“Hey,” he responded with a sigh.

“Did he wake up?” She asked.

“Does it look like he did?” Harry asked her sarcastically while pointing at Draco.

She pulled up a chair next to harry and looked him in the eyes. “How are you doing?” She asked.

“Me?” He asked her. “Why are you asking how I'm doing?”

Hermione raised an eyebrow. “Are you kidding me? Harry, ever since he fell into a coma, or whatever is going on, you have been insanely upset. Look at yourself! You haven't showered or changed your clothes in days! You constantly smell of alcohol and I know you aren't eating the food I give you.” Harry looked at Draco to avoid looking at Hermione. After a few seconds of silence she said “you care about him, harry.”

He faked a scoff. “What do you mean by 'care about him’?”

“I mean exactly what I said. No one would act this way with someone they didn't care about. The way you act around him… it's how you acted with Ginny before you started dating.”

Harry looked out the window, and then at the shelf's containing potions, and then at Draco's closed eyes. He wanted to look at anything other than Hermione. They sat in silence for a while more. Harry didn't want to say anything, as he knew what Hermione was saying is true, And he wished it wasn't. 

“Harry,” Hermione said after More silence. “You have to be realistic. It's been days… almost a week. There's a good chance he won't wake up.” 

At this comment Harry finally looked up at Hermione. “Don't say that.” 

“You need to hear it.”

“No, I don't. He will wake up. And I won't leave his fucking side until I believe otherwise,” harry said, now getting mad at his friend. 

She looked at him with worry and sadness in her eyes. “get some sleep tonight, please,” Hermione said as she got up. She ran her fingers threw his hair as a friendly gesture before walking to leave the room. There was a loud sound of the door closing that signaled she left.

He will wake up… he will wake up…… he will…… Not… He will not wake up…

Harry's mind thought these words over and over. It was getting harder to convince himself that draco would wake up, and harry was becoming frustrated. Frustrated at Hermione. Frustrated at Draco. Frustrated with himself and his feeling for Draco. But mostly, he was frustrated with the world.

Harry screamed out of frustration and chucked his glass half full of whiskey at the wall. It shattered satisfyingly and streaks of the drink ran down the wall and into the cold floor he and Draco once sat on. 

Not knowing what else to do, harry lied down on the floor in the middle of the room. He looked at the ceiling and tried to think of anything but Draco, without success. Harry has lost so much. His parents, godfather and friends. He doesn't want to lose this new person he… cared… about. He made a fucking promise to Draco that he would live, and harry was starting to realize that he has broken his promise. 

Harry took out Draco's box of cigarettes and lit One. He rested it gently against his lips and smoked it as fast as possible, craving for some sort of relief. He felt tears roll down his face. 

After what felt like an eternity of smoking and lying on the cold floor, harry stood up. He started to walk towards the door to leave… to leave Draco's side. without looking back, he put his hand on the door knob.

“Harry…?” The familiarly now sweet voice said from behind harry. 

He turned around, and to harry's astonishment and joy, Draco Malfoy's striking grey eyes were looking at him from across the room.

Harry made a strange laugh sound out of surprise. He was alive and fine. Without thinking twice, He rushed over go to Draco, and their lips met. 

They were kissing, and they were one, together. Colours danced in the two boys eyes as emotions ran free. It seemed as if their whole existence was being represented by this one longing kiss. One Kiss is all it took to express everything harry had been thinking for months. 

Draco used the little amount of energy he had left and pulled harry onto the bed so the little space between them was closed off. Harry was now straddling Draco on his bed and they moved as one. Hands were everywhere, and the kiss was rough, but still tender. It was a piece of artwork in a museum. 

They could tell each other's thoughts and feelings. Harry's warm hand perfectly laid against Draco's pale and cold cheek. Tan and pale mixed. Cold and warm clashed. The familiar scents of both of them could now be tasted on their lips. Time was both sped up and in slow motion. 

Their lips finally disconnected. “Have you been smoking?” Draco asked Harry.

“ I thought you weren't going to wake up,” harry said with both a sob and a laugh. 

Draco flashed a genuine and radiant smile while He ran his hands through Harry's already messy hair. Draco grabbed Harry's shirt and pulled him into another emotional and powerful kiss. After parting, he looked at harry with tired yet bright eyes. “It's a good thing I did wake up, then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me your thoughts on the chapter! Please bookmark and leave kudos. Thanks you for reading!


	5. The Worst Pain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two boys find happiness with each other, but will that happiness be interupted?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took 3 weeks to write, but I made this chapter longer than than the others and I had to plan a lot. I will probably only write one more chapter after this one, as I am already planning out another fic.

The white small bed was cramped by the two boys lying side by side in it. Draco had his head on Harry's chest and their legs were intertwined. Draco was sleeping soundly as Harry played with his blonde, almost white hair. It felt like a dream yet harry knew it wasn't.

With a cigarette in his mouth, harry had a small smile planted on his face. This was everything harry wanted yet he didn't know that until now. Just the night before he had been kissing Draco Malfoy, His worst enemy and his greatest desire. Harry's doesn't know what this means for the two of them. Are they dating? Or is this just a one time thing? God, he hopes it isn't a one time thing. 

Draco shifted in his sleep and was now grabbing Harry's arm. Harry looked the sleeping boy next to him and decided there was no one he would rather be with at this moment.

After staying like this all morning, Draco's eyes opened. Harry smiled down at him. “Good morning,” he said. 

“Was last night a dream or did that actually happen,” Draco said with a groggy voice riddled with sleep. 

“Definitely real life.”

“oh,” Draco said, making harry nervous. “Nice.” They both smiled.w

“But we need to talk about what we are doing here. Are we like… dating? Or what?” Harry asked. 

“I don't know… we would have to keep it secret and it would be really hard to maintain. I just think it would be better if we went our separate ways…”

“Yeah,” harry agreed. After a few seconds he asked “wanna make out again?”

“Yeah.” Their lips met and the wonderful kisses from the night before was reenacted, yet there was still something new and fresh about it. 

“Wait, so are we dating now?” Draco asked.

“Yeah, is that cool?”

“definitely ,” Draco said while leaning in to kiss again. Both of their lips tasted like smoke. They stayed lying next to each other for an eternity.

Suddenly, Harry heard the fortunately loud sound of the doors open and immediately jumped away from Draco and into the chair next to the bed. Hermione walked inside. 

“You're… alive!” She yelled upon seeing Draco. Hermione put the tray of food she had brought for Harry on the cart. She walked over and have Draco an awkward hug. “When did you wake up?”

“Last night,” draco answered after processing the hug he just received. 

“I'm glad,” she said. “I brought up one tray of food for Harry but I can get another if you Want.”

“Yeah sure,” Draco said, wanting an excuse for him and harry to be alone. Hermione nodded and left, causing the loud noise of the doors to ring around the room again. 

Harry, who was now sitting in the bedside chair put his head on his hands and looked at Draco longingly. “How are you feeling?”

“Honestly? Shitty,” Draco said while returning Harry's gaze. “ I feel like I have fucking heartburn throughout my whole body and every time I move, it hurts.”

“oh boo hoo, Malfoy,” harry joked while smirking. 

“Bite me.”

“Is that a request?”

“Shut up.” he smiled. Harry cautiously placed his hand on top of Draco's. To show he was okay with it, Draco played with Harry's fingers in a loving manner. 

They bantered on while holding hands like this for a couple minutes. Draco ranted about how poor he felt while harry looked into his eyes. He was smiling and nodding occasionally to what Draco would say. 

“You're not listening to a word I'm saying, are you?” Draco joked.

“Of course I am! You were just whining about how you're hungry.”

“I stand corrected.” for the next few minutes they smoked and tried to blow rings of smoke into the air. Harry completely failed which caused Draco to laugh at him. Eventually Hermione walked in, at which they fell silent and disconnected their hands. 

Hermione was not carrying a tray of food; She looked troubled. “What's wrong?” Harry asked.

“Ron almost saw me walk out of here. He saw me right as the door disappeared and he asked where you have been. He keeps asking whenever he sees me and I don't know what to tell him!” She yelled out.

“Oh yeah, the Weasley,” Draco said while looking out the window. “I don't think he likes me very much.”

“Not your biggest fan,” harry agreed. 

“What do I do, harry?” Hermione asked again, interrupted Draco and Harry's banter. 

“Okay.” Harry turned his attention back to Hermione. “Tell him I left to go back to my apartment, that I need a break from Hogwarts. And tell him I don't want him to know because I want privacy,” harry said after thinking. 

Hermione nodded. “Alright. That might work…” she quickly calmed down. “while I'm here, Draco, I should check up on you.”

“Ooo, fun!” Draco said sarcastically.

“Can you take off your shirt?” She said, ignoring his comment. 

“I could, if my arms didn't feel like jelly.”

“Oh, you baby,” harry said. He walked over, grabbed draco's shirt by the neck and pulled it over his blond hair. Harry stealthily winked at him and Draco barked out a laugh which made his ribs ache, so he groaned.

“What's funny?” Hermione asked from behind harry. 

“Nothing,” Draco said immediately. When Hermione wasn't looking he grinned and winked back at harry. 

As Hermione checked to see if the spell she used days before worked, harry gently cleaned and replaced the bandages on Draco's other wounds which were healing at a normal pace.

Warm hands which belonged to harry left Draco's unnaturally cold skin temporarily warmer. His fingertips lightly brushed Draco's cheek as he wiped dried blood off a deep cut. Can you get any more romantic than that?

Draco still couldn't believe this was his life, It had happened so quickly. He was Harry's and harry was his. Draco had spent the morning kissing and holding hands with harry Potter, the boy he admires and wanted since sixth year. Despite the constant physical pain, he had never felt better. 

“Well, there's good news,” Hermione announced. “The spell worked. There are no more traces of poison and you should start to fully recover soon.”

Harry beamed. “Nice job, Hermione,” he said as he slapped her on the back. 

“Rad. Thanks Hermione. I'm hungry,” Draco added. 

“Hard to please aren't you? Have mine,” harry said as he fetched the food Hermione had brought him earlier in the morning. 

“I can go back to the kitchens if you want,” Hermione proposed. 

“That would be great. Can you get some ice cream too? And maybe a donut?” Harry asked her. 

“Yes, your majesty,” Hermione said with a fake bow. She left and the door closed loudly once again. 

Harry exhaled, he was partially relieved that Hermione had left and he didn't want her to come back for a while. 

As if he had read Harry's mind, Draco said “It's kind of weird when she's here, right?”

“yeah. I'm sure we have different reasons for thinking that, though. Explain,” harry said. 

“It's just weird to have someone I was ruthlessly mean to help me, and care about my outcome,” Draco told Harry. 

“You know that's our same exact situation?”

“You're different… i don't know why.” He smirked at harry. “What about you?”

“Oh, it's just because I want to make out with you.”

“Yeah, that too.” Draco agreed. 

Harry dived forward and their lips locked once again. Their relationship felt familiar, like they spent years doing this, yet it also felt new, which it was. Colors danced in their eyes yet again and they both smelled of smoke. Draco was lying on his bed as Harry laid down on him from above. Gentleness turned to roughness and hands wandered in and around each others shirts 

“Ow,” Draco exclaimed as Harry accidentally elbowed Him in the ribs. 

“Sorry,” harry replied while laughing softly. 

After their lips were sore and they were out of breath, the two boys just sat looking at each other. They looked into eachothers eyes so deeply you would think there's a hidden message riddled inside of them.

“This is all new to me, you know,” Draco said after years of silence. “I don't really do romance. It's not my thing.”

“How do you know it's not your thing if it's new to you?” Harry's voice was soft. They did not need to talk loudly, as their faces were only inches apart. 

“it just doesn't fit with me. Draco Malfoy, the ex death eater with the tortured past. The one who is rude to anyone and anything. Having a … boyfriend doesn't fit in there. why are you smiling?”

Harry was now beaming at Draco. “You said boyfriend. Am I your boyfriend, Malfoy?”

“Shut up, Potter.”

“Don't be rude to your boyfriend,” harry said tauntingly.

“Have you payed attention to anything I have been saying?”

“Yes, but you are being incredibly dense. Yeah people think you're a mean and cold person, But I know that you're not. And so what if it 'doesn’t fit in’? Don't rid yourself of happiness just because it doesn't agree with what other people think of you.”

Draco continued to look at harry while Draco digested what he said. He couldn't deny that what harry said was a good point. Eventually he gave in. 

“Okay. I'll give it a chance,” Draco said, to which harry smiled at and have him a gentle kiss. 

“You should sleep. Take a nap,” harry advised him. Draco nodded and harry got up off of the small bed and plopped back down onto the familiar bedside chair. He covered Draco in a wool blanket and smoked quietly as the blond haired boy slowly fell into a light slumber. 

~

Draco woke up hours later to find neither harry or Hermione alongside him in the room of Requirements. Instead he was greeted with a beautiful, purring cat lying on Draco's aching ribs. 

“... Hello,” Draco said unnecessarily to the mysterious cat. He cautiously raised his arm (which also ached) to pet the cat, which responded by rubbing it's check along Draco's fingers. 

“Ah, I see you've met Harlan.” Harry clumsily entered the room of Requirements while carrying a box of cigarettes and what appeared to be clothes and blankets.

“Why is there a cat on me?” Draco asked Harry. 

“That's my cat. His name is Harlan, like I said. I thought it's getting kind of lonely in here so I figured we would enjoy the company,” harry responded while gently putting the contents held in his arms down.

“Oh… yeah, I like cats,” Draco told Harry.

“He seems to like you, too. He's not the only one.” Harry tilted his head and gently kissed Draco from an uncomfortable angle. Draco hid a smile. 

“What did you bring?” Draco pointed to the things harry had just put down. 

“I brought us some blankets. It's getting pretty cold, and winter is gonna be here soon,” harry told him. “ I brought you some more of my clothes, too. We are almost the same size so it works out.”

Draco grabbed one of the soft blankets and spread it out onto the bed, causing Harlan to get up and jump off the bed. Harry sat down and threw the box of cigarettes at draco after taking one for himself. both boys lit one after placing it on their lips in unison.

“So..,” harry said. “Will you be fine here alone for a while? I want to go down to Hogsmeade.under the invisibility cloak, of course.”

Draco took the cigarette out of his mouth and exhaled a puff of smoke out of his nose. “Why do you want to go to Hogsmeade?”

“Fresh air. Get out for a bit,” harry answered him. 

“I'm not stopping you. Do what you want.” Draco talked casually but he couldn't deny the curiosity he felt for why harry would want to leave. He was also slightly jealous, as Draco has been stuck in this room for so long, yet harry was the one who gets to leave. He felt horrible though and wasn't completely sure he can get up, so he didn't ask harry to come along.

“Do you want me to have Hermione stop by?”

“ If you want. I don't care.” He did care, though.  
Harry looked at Draco skeptically for a second, and then gave him a long, hard kiss. He got up, reassuringly ran his hands over Draco's hair and said “ I'll be back by noon.”

Draco nodded to him and right before harry left, Draco remembered something. “Wait Wait Wait, Potter!” Harry entered the room again. “Can you get me a pen and paper before you leave?”

Harry laughed. “Sure. I'll send Hermione with it later.”

Harlan jumped back onto the bed and settled next to Draco. “Oh, you're still here?” Draco asked pointlessly to the cat. 

~

Walking silently, harry made his way to Hogsmeade. It had been a while since he had left the Hogwarts grounds, and he wanted to get out for a bit. He really liked Draco, but Harry was exhausted. Having been alone for the past couple of months, it was a large change to be around someone all day, everyday.

As Harry's though about random topics, he found himself landing on one subject, Draco. With the illusion that he was floating, harry thought about everything regarding the boy. His constant smell of smoke and rain, his snarky attitude, his lips… Everything about him seemed perfect, and harry couldn't believe that they had something going on. 

Harry got so sidetracked from thinking about a certain blond haired boy, that he almost ran into a tree. After rebalancing himself, harry continued on his way. While he walked, his eyes quickly scanned the lake and he saw something interesting… Doing a double take, harry saw Ron and Hermione sitting by the lake. 

Quietly walking over to them, harry was feeling nervous, and was very interested in what they are talking about. He finally got close enough to hear them and he started to listen. 

“... I'm just saying that it's weird that he just suddenly disappeared without saying anything,” Ron told Hermione.

“I told you,” she replied, “harry said he was going back to his apartment for a while.”

His interest suddenly jumped after hearing his name in the conversation.

“But why wouldn't he say anything to me?” Hermione didn't reply to him. After no one said anything for a while, Ron looked at Hermione seriously. “Hermione… I think he might be with Draco.”

Hermione looked surprised and flustered at his accusation but recovered quickly, and asked “why would you say that?”

“Harry's been all weird about Draco recently, especially on the train Ride, remember?” Hermione didn't reply. “And what are the odds that Draco and harry plummet off the face of the earth on the same day, and they both have been gone for a week?”

“I think you're reading too much into this, Ron,” she tries to assure him. 

“You're not this stupid! It's obvious!” Ron's voice grew louder. 

“He's your best friend, Ron! Why don't you trust him?”

“I do… but he has just been acting weird, and I think he's up to something.” Ron stood up and walked back towards the castle, leaving a confused looking Hermione by the lake. 

“Howdy,” harry said as he pulled the invisibility cloak off. Hermione was so surprised, she nearly fell into the water. 

“Harry? Jesus Christ, where did you come from?” She asked. Harry held up his cloak for Hermione to see. “So I guess you heard that whole conversation, then?”

“Yeah,” he admitted. “Good job on your part. But why can't Ron just leave it alone?”

“He's really committed to finding out what's going on. And… he believes you and Draco are hanging out.”

“Well he's got that right,” harry joked. 

“ You have to be more careful, harry,” she said while ignoring his last comment. “ I think you should come back to class soon. If you don't, he will definitely think you're up to something.”

Harry nodded. Going back to class was the last thing he wanted to do. Not while he could be with Draco… it wasn't just that, though. The last week had been like a vacation. He forgot he was the Famous Potter with the tragic back story. He was only Harry, who enjoys smoking and who likes Draco Malfoy. 

“Yeah… I guess he's well enough to be left alone for a while. I'll go back in a day or two. I still don't think he should go back to class yet, though.”

“I know. You guys can't come back at the same time. I would be too sketchy looking,” Hermione agreed. 

After they sat There, looking at the water for a while, harry suddenly remembered to ask Hermione “have you gone to see him yet?”

She shook her head no, so harry told Hermione what Draco needed. She promised to bring him it, at which harry pulled out a cigarette, laid it gently in his mouth, and lit it. 

“Ugh,” Hermione complained as she fanned smoke out of the air. “ You really shouldn't smoke those. They're bad for you.” Harry threw her a snarky grin, which made her roll her eyes.

“I'm still heading over to Hogsmeade. Do you want to come?” harry asked. 

“No thanks, I have some work to do. I'll see you later, though.” Hermione stood up and gave Harry a friendly pat on the head. Harry smiled and waved goodbye. 

~

Laying on the bed, Draco absentmindedly pet Harlan who was curled up at his side. It was lonely having no one with him. He hadn't been alone for a long period of time for over a week. It gave him crazy thoughts like “I should pick up that pencil and stab myself in the neck with it,” or “what if I just left Hogwarts right now?”

He knew that he didn't have enough bravery to do either of these things, and he didn't plan on doing them, but it's entertaining to explore the possibility, and it's even more trippy that he could easily do these things right now. 

Snapping Draco back into the real world, the large doors opened in the familiarly loud fashion. His heart leapt a bit, as he thought it was harry. It wasn't him, though, it was Hermione. In a split second after seeing her, Draco got unusually nervous.

“Where's Harry?” He asked her.

“Hogsmeade,” she answered simply. She handed Draco a sketch pad and assorted charcoal pencils. For a second, Draco forgot why she was handing this to him. He grabbed the items from her extended hand. 

“Oh… Thanks,” he said to her even though he was still upset harry wasn't back. Hermione sat in the homely chair next to Draco's bed. 

“How are you doing?” She asked him. 

“A bit sore. Trying to ignore the fact that every part of my ribcage aches. So, naturally, I feel extraordinary,” he joked to her without making eye contact. 

Hermione nodded. She got up and went to the wall of potions. After the clinking of glass bottles rang through the room for a few seconds, she started pouring a soft, purple potion into a glass. Hermione must have sensed Draco's skepticism after handing him the glass, for she explained. “ It's for the pain.”

That's all he needed to hear, for he immediately chugged the contents of the glass. He felt lighter and tingly seconds after he finished the glass. 

“damn, what the hell is this potion?” He asked, grateful for relief. 

“Don't know. Found it on the shelf, so I have it a shot,” she told him. Draco thought she was joking for a second, but she wasn't. 

“So, how are you?” she asked again.

“You just asked me that.” He said as he reached to light the cigarette now dangling from his lips. 

“No, I don't mean physically. How are you, you know, mentally”

At this, Draco was slightly dumbfounded. He got so surprised by this question that he had forgotten to lit his cigarette, and his hand stood unmoving at his mouth like he would light it any second. No one has asked him that question for a long time. 

“ I don't know,” was all he said. He decided to light the cigarette that was still at his mouth. Hermione's silence told him to elaborate. “I really don't know. Getting stability is famously really fun and does wonders for your self esteem, but i just really don't know…”

“I'm not a therapist or anything, so I can't tell you how you're feeling, but talking can help.”

“I don't need a shrink,” Draco stated while he blew a cloud of smoke out of his lips. 

“I know. But you can just talk to harry. I'm sure he'll help, or want to help.” Draco perked up at the sound of Harry's name. Hermione have him a weird look, so he disguised his slight jump as stretching his back. 

Neither of them said anything for a while. Draco focused on the cigarette he was still smoking whole Hermione fidgeted with the tag on the empty potion bottle. Draco finally spoke up. “I'm sorry,” he said. 

“For what?” Hermione asked him genuinely.

“What I did during school. I shouldn't have treated you like I did. And i'm really sorry for calling you a… you-know-what,” he said, catching himself before saying the offensive word. 

Hermione smiled a bit and looked at Draco. She didn't say anything, but her face relayed the message without words. 

“You helped me this past week even though i treated you so poorly… why? Why would you help me?” Draco asked her. 

“You're a good person,” she said, elaborating. 

“How do you know?” he asked desperately.

“I took Harry's word for it.” 

What she said sunk in, and Draco suddenly had a deeper appreciation for Harry. He liked him more than he already did, if possible. Before Draco could ask Hermione when Harry had said that, the man of the hour opened the large doors and walked into the room boldly. 

Harry carried two bags in his arm, the invisibility cloak under his other arm, and a wide smile on his face. 

“I'm back,” he stated proudly. Harry put the bags down on the silver cart and messily draped the invisibility cloak on an arm chair. 

“Thank God for that,” Draco said with a sarcastic tone, even though he meant it. He pulled the layers of blankets off himself and slowly climbed off the white bed that had become his home. 

“Don't get up because of me,” harry said, looking slightly worried as Draco stood unsteadily. He ignored harry and continued to take progressive steps towards him. 

“Oh crap,” Hermione exclaimed as she checked her watch. “I have class. See you guys later.” She left without another word.

Harry walked the remainder of the space between him and Draco. They engaged in a tight, loving hug as they stood in the middle of the room. Harry kissed Draco's forehead while he slowly lead him back to the bed. 

“How was it?” Draco asked Harry. 

“it was nice to get out a bit. I do need to tell you something though…” harry told him. Draco looked worried. “I saw Hermione and ron under the invisibility cloak. Ron is starting to get mad that he doesn't know where I am and he isn't buying Hermione story. Also… he is starting to think I'm with you.”

“So what do we do?” Draco said with a small voice. 

“I need to go back to class and the common room in a few days… I swear I'll come here as often as I can, though.”

Feeling disappointed and scared, Draco nodded and agreed with harry. He knew he would have to leave eventually, but he dreaded when that time would come, and that time is now. 

“When should I go back?” Draco asked. 

“I don't know, whenever you feel better, I guess.”

Noticing the distant look in Draco's grey eyes, harry sat down in the chair next to the white bed. “You look upset.”

“Me? No, I'm fine,” draco said, trying to sound convincing.

“You'll be fine by yourself, this is a safe place,” harry told him. 

Draco nodded and smiled at harry. He must have bought it too, as harry changed subjects and explained In detail the candy he had bought at Hogsmeade. Draco payed no attention, however. Instead, he was looking out the window and trying to imagine what was to happen next. Harry will be sitting right in front of the people who beat Draco up almost every day in potions class. Harry thought Draco was worried for his own safety, but he was actually worried about Harry. 

The still burning cigarette sat ignored in Draco's fingers. The feeling of fright crept up his throat and swelled into an emotion unheard of. The distant buzzing noise of harry's voice was unregistered in draco's mind. 

The emotions continued to grow, it was almost traceable. He could feel it overtake his body. It felt similar to the potion that ate away at Draco, which he had happened only days before, but this wasn't a potion or a poison. It was thoughts and Emotions compounded together. Completely natural and common, but deadly if they get to the wrong person with the wrong mind.

The world became clear. Harry's voice was now registered and cigarette held in draco's hand was unignored. 

“ I think I'm just going to go to sleep now,” draco said, interrupting what harry was talking about.

“Oh okay..,’ harry said, surprised at the sudden comment. “I think you should take a dreamless sleep potion,” harry recommend, wanting Draco to have an uninterrupted sleep. 

“Uh, yeah okay,” Draco said, unsure on why he was taking a potion. He went along with it though, and downed the pleasant looking and smelling potion harry had just poured out.

As Draco started to drift into sleep he looked up at the boy sitting next to him. 

“Harry, I'm sorry,” he muttered. 

“For what?” Harry said. Whenever Draco calls him by his first name instead of 'potter’, harry feels a sudden peak of happiness.

“ for pulling you into this mess.” With the last comment that would leave Harry thinking all night, Draco closed his eyes and fell asleep. 

~

When Draco woke up the next morning, harry was gone. Panic rose in Draco, but he realized harry might have gone to class or to the common room. The idea of that made more panic rise in Draco. 

He got out of bed and decided to walk around the room to get some nervous energy out. Feet hit the cold ground and the sound of fast pacing was heard softly in the room from Draco. Normal functions have become easier to him as he has healed. Things like walking, stretching and sleeping without a potion (last night overlooked) were becoming increasingly normaler which helped Draco think of his old life. However, he couldn't get past a few hours without a pain relief potion. Without it, he would feel like he had constant, severe heartburn, but at every part of his body. The pain radiated from his veins and ran all across his body. It's agonizing.

Draco was reminded of this once he had walked around for a few minutes and a wave of pain blurred his eyes. Walking back to the potion shelf's, he uncorked the almost empty potion bottle and sipped at the pleasantly light blue potion. Immediately feeling less pain, Draco decided to calm down, and tried to reassure himself that Harry's fine. 

Picking up Harlan and laying him on the white bed, grabbing the notepad and pencils Hermione had dropped off yesterday, and final sitting back down into the bed, Draco tried to relax by drawing and spending time with Harry's gorgeous cat. With him already in mind, Draco started to roughly draw harry. he accentuated all the features he loves about him like his messy black hair and gorgeously deep eyes.

Keeping this up for another hour, Draco's eyes grew bloodshot, Harlan was sleeping, and Draco was growing more curious as to where harry is. He put the now finished drawing on the sliver cart and slowly got up off of the bed, trying and being unsuccessful in trying not to wake Harlan. 

Without coming up with a plan or a goal, Draco started to drift towards the two, large twin doors that have been a symbol for Draco's imprisonment in the room or requirements. Raising a hand covered in black charcoal from the pencils, he landed on a doorknob, turned it, and quickly stepped out of the doors, and back into the Hogwarts corridor.

Not knowing what to do now that he was back in the corridor that had haunted him threw his his years of school, Draco stood still in the empty hall. He did not walk, or talk, or make any movement. There was no sound. Just as it dawned on Draco that this was a pointless act, the silence was disrupted by the sound of a cloak swishing next to him, and suddenly Harry was standing right in front of Draco. 

“What are you doing out here?” Harry asked in a panic whisper. 

“I don't know! Where were you?” Draco yell-whispered back.

Harry grabbed Draco's hand and pulled him threw the large doors. He was back in the room of Requirements, and his brief freedom was over as the door closed behind him. 

“I was starting to worry! Where were you?” draco asked again. 

“ I was at the kitchen. Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten You, I should have left a note.” Engaging in a long kiss and the two boys stayed like that for an unmeasured amount of time. 

After their lips were red and sore they walked over to the arm chairs In Front of the fireplace. They have never sat in this area, but Draco found himself considering the once familiar white bed, to be less homely. 

“What Did you bring?” Draco asked as he kicked his legs up on Harry's knee. He didn't seem to mind it. 

“Chocolate croissant and hot Coco,” Harry's said as he handed the tray over to Draco. 

“Ah, you know me so well.” He smiled and started to rip off pieces of the pastry.

They ate and talked, it was casual, but special. In-between rips of the croissant, harry would gently grab Draco's chin, and lift it up to his, and they kissed until they were out of breath.

There were only crumbs left on Draco's plate and they sat on their chairs, saying nothing. Breaking the silence, Draco asked a question that he had asked himself the night before. 

“Why don't you drink anymore?”

“Huh?” Harry asked. 

“You never smell like whiskey anymore,” Draco pointed out. 

“Oh yeah..,” harry said, realizing this himself. “getting drunk was the only thing that used to make me happy, but now, Your Love is Better.”

~

Even though Draco had finished his breakfast an hour earlier, the two boys stayed in those chairs, talking, laughing, smoking and making out. Those were the moments Draco lived for. 

Once they were finally ready to get up, Draco went to put his glass plate back on the silver cart. 

“Oh, I can do it,” harry said, noticing Draco winced as he rose off his chair. 

“No, I got it,” Draco told him stubbornly.

“Are you sure?” Harry asked. Draco made no response.

Halfway through the short walk to the cart, his knee buckled and he collapsed to the floor alongside the glass plate that slipped out of his hands. With a crash, the plate broke into multiple pieces. Harry rushed over to help him up, but Draco quickly yelled “i'm fine!” 

“Just let me help you,” harry asked of Draco, who was now slowly getting onto all fours. 

“I can get up on my own,” he responded, sounding cold. Right after he said that, a small fragment of the broken glass plate stabbed itself into his knee. Draco gave a slight cry of pain. Finally giving in, he let harry help him stand, and they both hobbled over to the white bed. 

After Draco was sat on the bed, harry pushed Draco's pajama leg up to expose the slightly bloody cut. He easily took out the glass and mended the cut with a quick spell. 

“Why do you have to be so fucking stubborn?”  
Harry asked, partially worried, partially mad.

“Because I have been stuck in this hellhole for weeks! I can't fucking do anything myself, and I'm tired of having you do my shit for me everyday. it's driving me mad! I feel like I'm in a damn prison.”

Harry didn't expect this response, and he certainly didn't expect the anger. He wanted to angrily yell something back to draco, but after thinking a bit, harry understood the anger draco had and decided against being angry back at him. 

“Look, you'll be out of here soon. I know it's frustrating, but I'm just trying to help you,” harry calmly told him.

Draco didn't respond. He stared at harry for a while, and they stayed like that. It was like a staring contest. Draco eventually gave in and nodded. 

~~

The next morning, harry was gone again. Draco did not panic this time, as he knew he was getting breakfast or talking with Hermione. Draco felt a pang of jealousy, as he wanted to leave the room so badly, yet harry was the one who always did the errands outside of these walls. He thought back to what harry had said last night, and tried to reassure himself that what harry said was true. 

“You'll be out of here soon,” harry had said. “i'm just trying to help you.” 

Harry's words spoke repeatedly I'm Draco's mind, but was soon interrupted by a slight bang and a muffled Hoot from the window. To Draco's surprise, an owl was trying to get in. This confused him, as he didn't know an owl could find him in this room, he hadn't even believed the window was an actual Window until now. 

He hopped out of bed and let the owl in. It was carrying an official looking letter on its leg, and the second draco detached the letter the owl flew out the window which draco closed again after it left. In big gold print, the envelope read “Malfoy, Next of Kin.”

After getting out the letter, Draco's eyes scanned the fancy paper on which the letter was printed on. The second he read the second paragraph, the letter dropped out of his hands and fluttered onto the bed. 

“Oh my god,” Draco exclaimed, surprised, saddened and confused. 

I have to get out of here, he thought. Harry's invisibility cloak was folded on a chair so he grabbed it and threw it over himself. Draco didn't wonder why harry wasn't wearing his cloak, as his mind was already full of so many thoughts and feelings that he couldn't process anything else. 

Draco opened the large doors that have mocked him for weeks and walked down the hall and past the bathroom that caused Draco to be stuck in that room. He didn't know where he was going or what he was doing. Leaving Hogwarts perhaps? Or maybe going back to the common room. The tree by the lake also seemed to be a good option. He kept all of his in mind as he fast walked through the corridor.

~

He pushed the large doors open, exited to give Draco his breakfast. Only Harry was greeted by an empty bed and room, and found that his invisibility cloak was missing (harry had not been wearing it, as he was going back to class the next day and saw no harm in people seeing him.)

“Shit!” He exclaimed. Harry immediately ran out of the room, ignoring the letter on the bed that had caused Draco to leave in the first place. 

He was not sure as how he was going to find Draco, as he was under the invisibility cloak. He decided to go to places he might go, but Harry didn't know any places Draco would go. 

Harry continued to walk down the halls in search for an invisible man. Down the corridor and past the bathroom he found Draco in… he reached the end of the empty corridor and turned Left. The second he looked down the hall his breathing stopped and he halted where he stood. There was ron, staring at him and looking as surprised as harry. 

“Where have you been?” Ron asked Harry while crossing his arms like a Stern parent. 

“I left Hogwarts… I was at my apartment. Sorry, I should have told you,” harry said, trying to sound convincing.

“No you weren't,” ron said. “I wrote to the apartment complex and they said the last time you were there was before we left for Hogwarts.” Harry didn't answer, as he didn't know what to say. “So, where have you been?” He asked again. 

“The room of Requirements” was all harry said. He didn't elaborate or give details. Ron's silence told Harry that details were exactly what he wanted. “ I just needed to get away for a bit,” he continued on. 

“Oh, so you're in hiding?” Ron asked bitterly. “These people look up to you and you are in hiding?” The words Harry's best friend spoke stung. “it's your fault so many people died in the Hogwarts war, and you won't even show your face or apologize. You're weak.”

Harry couldn't believe Ron was saying these words. It shocked and hurt him so much he was on the verge of tears. Only a small part of harry was angry, yet another person close by was furious.

“shut the hell up,” Draco said after removing the invisibility cloak. Both boys were surprised but Ron quickly recovered and looked even more mad. 

“I knew it!” Ron yelled. “I knew you guys were hanging out together. A blood traitor and 'The boy who lived’,” Ron said in a mocking voice. Harry look down at his feet and Draco looked furious. “Wait… Are you two Fucking?” their silence answered for them. Ron barked out a cold laugh that made harry shiver. 

Just as Ron opened his mouth to say something else, Hermione ran over to them. She only thought it was harry and Draco, but when she turned around she saw Ron. “What is going on here?” She asked. 

“Did you know?” Ron responded with another question. “Did you know they're together? They're fucking, Hermione!”

Hermione looked bewildered, but not surprised. Harry was ready to completely break down, and Draco was glaring at ron and had not moved or blinked since he revealed himself to them.

“You're probably just jealous that he was with me and not you,” Draco said to Ron as he stepped forward. 

“Draco, stop,” harry pleaded silently. 

Ron barked another cold laugh. “Why would I be jealous of a racist, death eater.” Draco was more mad than he has ever been, but he didn't respond, so Ron continued on. “You're nothing but scum.”

Draco's eyes widened. “It was you. You were the one who told them to beat me up!” Ron said nothing. “It was you, WASN'T IT?!” Draco screamed, wanting some sort of response. Harry couldn't believe it, and neither could Hermione.

“Ron…” she said quietly. “Is it true? Did you do it?” She asked. 

“ not exactly. All I did was tell them where he was when they asked. I didn't know what they were going to do, but I heard screaming. The next day I asked them what happened and They said he was probably dead, and I didn't really care. Hell, I was kind of happy! “ Ron said, at which Hermione have a small sob. “but after a while I started having second thoughts, and I became sure he was with harry.” Hermione was still crying, so Ron told her, “No one would have cared if he died, anyway! The only people who would care would be his looser mother and death eater father.”

The second those words left Ron's mouth, Draco pounced. They both fell to the floor and Draco was sitting on Ron's chest to make sure he didn't move. He punched and slapped until blood flowed out of Ron's nose, which draco just broke. 

Hermione was screaming and harry tried to pry Draco off Ron, whose face was now covered in cuts and blood. Ron was kicking and trying to hit Draco. He was doing anything to try and free himself.

“Draco!” Harry yelled. “Stop! You're being being just like the people that almost killed you!” Draco stopped punching when he heard what harry said. 

“Don't say that to me,” Draco said, who had gotten off Ron and was now facing harry. “How dare you say that to me.” Although the words sounded mad, Draco was more hurt and sad than angry. 

“How dare YOU beat him! He's my best friend!” Harry said. 

“He's the one who told them where to find me,though! It's what He deserves.” These words made harry more angry. 

“That's exactly what Ron said! He had said 'Draco deserves it’.” Draco has no response to this. “Stay away from me,” harry told Draco who now had tears rolling down his pale face. 

As harry turned to walk away, Draco did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed harry by the shoulders and laid a long, passionate kiss upon his lips. After disconnecting, Draco looked into the angry green eyes of Harry and wordlessly pleaded with Him.

Harry did something Draco never would have thought he would do. He punched Draco hard in the ribs. He fell back and felt like the whole world was crumpling around him. Harry kicked him once he was on the floor. 

“Sod off, Malfoy,” harry said coldly. 

“No, don't call me that. My name is Draco, and I love you,” Draco said in a last attempt to bring him back, but Harry did nothing but scoff and walk away. 

Hermione ran off after harry, Ron had run away awhile back, and Draco laid on the floor, sobbing. It was familiar. It reminded him of when he laid on the ground in the bathroom, bloody in dying.

Draco felt like he was dying all over again. He was in so much pain it was unbearable. The pain didn't come from where harry punched him however, it was the pain of losing the only person he ever loved.

Out of all the hurt he has ever felt, getting stabbed, almost dying, being punched, out of all of that, this was the worst pain Draco has ever felt.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and tell me what you thought about this new chapter in the comments!!!


	6. 26 Letters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything comes to a close...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This IS the last chapter, and it is quite a long one so sorry for taking nearly a month. I will have quite a long note at the bottom of the page where I explain some more stuff about the story, and what is next for me. There are spoilers, so read the chapter first.

"Harry!”   
He walked down the long corridor. Hermione was crying and shouting behind him, the sound of running feet could be heard and soon enough Hermione was grabbing onto his arm. 

“Can you stop for just one second?!” 

But Harry didn't stop. He shook Hermione off angrily and continued to walk. When he reached the room of Requirements, the familiar large twin doors appeared and harry pulled them open effortlessly.

Hermione was still shouting and crying, but by then harry had tuned her out. She followed him into the room of Requirements and the doors shut loudly. Harry started to grab clothes and books from all around the room. “Harry, what are you doing?” Hermione asked with a sniffle. he finally stopped ignoring her.

“Packing up my shit,” harry told her while he grabbed a pair of pants that were folded sloppily on the arm chair. 

“Look at me,” she said. Harry ignored her again. “harry, look at me!” She shouted demandingly. He looked at her. “Stop, just for a second” was all she said. Her eyes pleaded with harry, but he didn't stop. It reminded Harry of the look Draco gave him only moments ago, before harry… he turned back around and grabbed a few books that were on the coffee table. He did anything to distract himself from what happened or what he did. He would walk around the room, picking up random items forever if it meant he didn't have to think of this awful day. anger was prominent in him but guilt was hidden beneath.

He finally got over to where the white bed is. The area he had stayed at almost all day for weeks. It almost ached to look at it. Harry remembered the smell of Draco, and the taste of smoke on his lips. He remembered lying on the bed in the early morning, playing with Draco's gorgeously frosty hair. He remembered their first kiss, and how it felt like nothing in the world could compare…

These memories brought harry back to reality. He stopped and dropped all the things he had just gathered up and sat down on the familiar bed. He didn't know what he was thinking, but he wondered if he would ever be with Draco on this white bed ever again. 

Hermione stood near the large door and was watching Harry. She had stopped shouting and crying, and was now confused as to what harry was doing, and why he had stopped rampaging. 

Still sitting on the bed, harry suddenly noticed a letter next to him. It was printed on O looking paper and the wax seal on the envelope (which harry also just noticed on the floor) was obviously from the ministry. The first paragraph was nothing but official language that made no sense, but the last paragraph read:

We are very sorry to inform you that your father, Lucius Malfoy, has died. He collapsed in his azkaban cell on September 21st, 3:14 pm, and he died shortly after. There will be no funeral service unfortunately, as his body is still in azkaban and will not be transferred because of security reasons.  
Our regards,  
The Ministry of Magic

“Oh, fuck,” harry said after he finished reading. Hermione walked across the room and sat down next to harry on the bed. Harry handed Hermione the letter and watched as her eyes scanned each line. He know she got to the end when her face fell. 

“Oh,” was the only thing she said. 

This letter served as a massive wake up call to harry. He stopped ignoring the events that transpired only shortly ago and took a real evaluation at what he did and what happened, and it felt like the world was crumbling. 

“Ron was such an ass,” harry said. Hermione didn't respond, which meant she agreed, or wanted harry to continue talking. Maybe she meant both. “He was such a fucking ass, and… dra- he was just trying to defend himself, and me.” Harry thought it too hard to say Draco's name right now. The room they sat in was once a familiar and warm place. Nothing has changed in the room, yet now it felt so much darker and haunting. How can a place change from home to hell so quickly?

“Is it true, what Ron said about… you two?” Hermione asked him skeptically. Her voice was quiet and she new the question she was asking was risky. Harry was unsure as to why she even needed to ask that question, as she saw them kiss only moments before. 

Harry didn't do anything for a while, and they sat in silence. Almost a whole minute later, he nodded, answering her. Hermione showed no reaction, almost as if she already knew they had been together. Harry thought back to what she had said almost a week ago. 

“The way you look at him… that's how you looked at Ginny before you too dated.” She had said. 

He was strangely relieved that she knew, now. He didn't know why, but he was. 

“Hermione, I fucked up everything,” harry told her. “he will never forgive me.” He felt tears in his eyes. 

“He might forgive you,” she tried to tell him. 

“I physically hurt him! If I were him, I would never forgive me. I screwed up everything.” The words he spoke themselves couldn't relay the pain harry felt right now. They couldn't show how sorry he was or how bad he felt. Words were just letters, compacted into sentences. How could 26 letters explain something as complicated as heartbreak?

“If you don't tell him how sorry you feel, and that you didn't mean what you said, then he will absolutely never forgive you. If you do tell him, at least there is a slight chance he will understand,” she told him. “So you need to find him, and you need to give him the master of all apologies.”

“He has my invisibility cloak. He could be anywhere, and he probably will have left Hogwarts.” Harry felt no energy in his body. No motivation to find Draco, as he felt he already ruined what they had, and there was no repairing it. 

“He won't have left Hogwarts,” Hermione told him, almost like she knew. “i feel like he wouldn't do that right now.”

Harry looked back down at his hands to hide the tears on his cheek from Hermione. He was unsuccessful, though. She wrapped him in a hug, and for once, he leaned into it. Putting his head on her shoulder, he still cried, But with Hermione by his side, the tears didn't seem useless. He thought the tears conveyed a message that words can't. 

Starting to think of Draco again, he wondered how to find him. And if he even could find him, harry was oblivious to what he would even say to Draco. How could 26 letters explain something as complicated as remorse?

~

To Draco, the world seemed so far away at this moment. It felt as if time wasn't relevant, and there was no one else alive except for him. Some part of his brain strangely thought that the events that happened so recently, the events that cost him so much, they didn't happen. His brain was trying to weirdly convince him that what just happened will blow over, and it will deal with itself. 

That way of thinking is so much easier than the actual reality Draco is facing. He was invisible to the word here in Harry's invisibility cloak, and he could hide forever. He could make that thought a reality. Never leaving the cloak, he wouldn't have to deal with these heartbreakingly tough events. 

Draco knew he couldn't do this, however. He had to face reality eventually. He would have to deal with this at some point. That time was not right now, though. 

He lay in the forbidden forest under the trees and the sky, but also under the invisibility cloak. Not much time has passed since everything with harry and Ron happened. Only half an hour has passed, but draco wasn't aware of this. Tears were dried on his cheek, his eye was black from when Harry punched him, and his ribs were sore, from where harry kicked him (and from other reasons). There were cigarette butts littered all around Draco from all he had smoked at that spot, just today. He would continue to smoke, but he ran out. 

Heartbroken and beaten, Draco felt like his whole world has clashed down in only a half an hour. All the happiness he has built up over the last two weeks crumpled down, and it was devastating. 

The boy Draco loved, and loves, physically harmed him, and emotionally scarred him. He called Draco horrible things, and he was positive that if any other person said what harry had said to him, Draco would kill them. 

Anger is so much easier to deal with than heartbreak. It is so much easier to act upon, and so much simpler of an emotional. Draco wanted so desperately to hate harry, to want to stab him or kill him, or punch Harry like he had punched Draco, but he couldn't. He longed for the warmness of harry next to him, he would do anything to hold his hand and smell his warm and smoke riddled scent. Draco would kill for another kiss…

The only tears on Draco's face were the dried ones he had shed on the cold floor. That ground was so much more haunting and sad than the one on the bathroom. It was strange that floors had such a significance to Draco. The thought of Harry brought fresh tears to Draco's eyes, though, and soon they flooded his cheeks, covering the dry tears. 

In seconds, draco was sobbing. These weren't beautiful, silent tears, but ugly and loud sobbs. His eye was sore from the punch, and the tears made it even more sore, and the feeling reminded him of harry, which caused even more tears. It was an endless loop. With ugly tears accompanied by ugly snot and ugly thoughts, Draco was miserable. He was so fucking… miserable. 

And at that point, Draco realized his nightmare has come true. The nightmare from so many nights ago that ended with Draco awake and crying with harry on the floor…. It came true. His father is dead, and he died hating his son. He will never be proud of Draco. And harry… harry didn't love him anymore. That was such a horrible thing to think, but it was true. The only person Draco has ever loved romantically hates his guts, and that made Draco think so low, that being killed would be a better option than thinking of the boy who doesn't love him back. 

~

It has been days since the incident happened. Harry and Hermione have both been staying in the room of Requirements together, and Hermione stopped going to her classes so she could be with harry all day. He appreciated this and knew it was a hard thing for Hermione to do. 

They have been trying their best to look for Draco. Everyday they roamed the castle and called for him or they did spells to try and reveal him from under the cloak. With no such luck, harry was starting to give up. He was tired, heartbroken, and felt empty. It was the worst he has felt since the war. 

Little did he know, Hermione had been doing some searching of her own. She saw that harry had been fading and unmotivated, so she decided to work as hard as she could. She would ask students and wizards in Hogsmeade if they have seen anything strange (well, stranger than all the other magical stuff that goes on regularly) and soon enough, she found out some spots where Draco is hiding regularly. And with the help of the house elf's from the kitchen, she knew where to find him, and when. 

She knew what has to happened and she is going to go confront Draco very soon. She wants to be with harry for a few more days, though. Hermione has been genuinely scared for Harry. He has not been eating much, he has been going through whole packs of cigarettes a day, and he started to smell of whiskey again for the first time in weeks… 

One thing Hermione has not shared with harry, or anyone for that matter, is how the incident has affected her. She no longer likes or trusts Ron, who was a person she used to love deeply. It will be hard getting over him, and she isn't completely sure she can get over him. Especially with the thought that he no longer trusts her, either. It is heartbreaking, but she needs to stay strong for Harry.

They didn't talk much. When they weren't looking for Draco, harry was either sleeping, smoking or sitting around the room of Requirements silently. It was so quiet between them that it reminds Hermione of when Ron left them on their search for horcruxes. It was a sad atmosphere. 

In addition to a sad feel around the room, the room itself was now different. It changed once when they got back from their search one day, and instead of a hospital setting, it was more set for living. There were two comfortable beds on opposite sides of the room, there was a small kitchen area where Hermione would cook meals (she liked to cook instead of asking the elf's. It kills time), and a fireplace with two arm chairs in the middle of the room. It was very cozy and If the circumstances were different, it would be a very enjoyable place to stay. 

The fact that the hospital set up was gone made harry very distraught. The décor had haunted him and reminded him of Draco all day, but the floor where he sat with Draco and cried was gone, the arm chairs by the window where they ate and laughed where gone, and the achingly familiar white bed, where they laid down with each other each night and where their first world stopping kiss happened, it was gone. And every time Harry plopped down on his new bed, he expected it to smell of Draco just like the white bed did. The happy memories the room brought him no longer replayed themselves in Harry's mind, and losing those memories made him realize that he has lost Draco. 

Two days after the fight, harry finally snapped. Hermione was making waffles in the kitchen and harry sat unmoving in the arm chair, staring at the fire. He suddenly said “he's still hurt.” He didn't look away from the fire as he said it, and Hermione didn't know if the comment was aimed to her. 

“Hm?” She asked, wanting harry to elaborate. She walked over to him and sat in the arm chair opposite to the one harry was sat in. 

“He is still hurt. His ribs aren't healed.” He looked at Hermione right after saying this. His eyes were wide and crazy looking. “He probably needs a potion to help with the pain, Hermione. He is probably in agony right now.” He was starting to get louder. 

Hermione was surprised to hear harry talk of Draco. He hadn't done so since they talked right after the fight happened. She was also slightly scared to see the wild look In his eyes. Hermione Couldn't smell alcohol on his breath, so she was pretty sure he was having a sort of panic attack. 

“Calm down…” she said, trying to sound relaxing. “I'm sure he's fine.”

“How could you be sure?!” The fact that he had just now remembered Draco's injuries made him feel Guilty. Why did he not remember earlier? “He is probably walking around somewhere in pain, and with broken ribs and cuts everywhere!” He stopped talking for a second and something horrible dawned on him. “ I kicked him in the ribs. I didn't mean to do that! What if it re broke his ribs?”

“It's not likely. They are probably healed enough for him to manage. Harry, he is probably fine, and you can't do anything even if he is hurting, We don't know where he is.” Harry still looked alarmed, but he now looked less crazy, and more like normal harry. “ I think you should go to sleep. Take a sleeping potion.” She carried them around with her all the time, now. 

After he denied the potion many items, she decided to cast a sleeping charm on him. It seemed like the only thing to do. She dragged his heavy body over to his bed from the armchair and covered him with blankets. He would wake up two hours later. 

With a heavy sigh, she plopped down into an armchair and thought about harry. He was due to snap any day, and she was glad it was earlier than later. He had brought up an interesting point, though. Draco is probably hurting and needs a potion for the pain, especially because of the nasty kick harry gave him. As she came up with a new idea, Hermione slowly fell asleep, surrounded by the smell of burning waffles. 

~

With the invisibility cloak over him, Draco made his way carefully to the kitchen. He did the familiar act of tickling the pear ( making sure no one could see his exposed hand) and he climbed through the painting and was greeted by the smell of sweet pastries and savory chicken. 

Some house elves came to greet him excitedly, but some continued to cook without even glancing at Draco. The Malfoys had a bad reputation with house elves because of how they treated dobby and many elves before Him. Even with this bad reputation, many of the house elves liked Draco. He wasn't sure why, but it was probably because he treated them Nicely and they were used to him coming to the kitchens every day. 

As they all formed a cluster around Draco, they offered to make him all the food you can imagine. 

“Just eggs, bacon and a coffee please, and a pack of cigs,” he requested politely. They all scurried away to prepare him his food, but one elf stayed behind. Draco was unsure of its name. 

“Sir,” it said, approaching slowly. “ Someone left you a present here.”

Draco was confused. How could anyone know where he was or when he would come here? He felt nervous. “Um… who is it from?”

The Elf walked over to the counter where the box was placed and hurriedly brought it to Draco. “It is from Ms. Granger, sir.”

His heart sank. There was a mix of emotions all happening at once. How did she know where he was, and if she knows, does harry? There was a slip of paper sticking out of the box, and as Draco grabbed it he hoped something about harry would be written down, like how he was doing or if he was alright.

All the paper said was “you two will need to talk, eventually. Get better soon.”

It was disappointing that the card didn't say anything else, but the information it did say made Draco wonder. He wondered if harry was the one who told Hermione go to send the gift and he wanted to talk. Or maybe he was doing horribly so Hermione wanted them to sort it out. 

These speculations continued until he was snapped back to reality by a house elf offering him the plate of eggs, bacon, a cup of coffee and some smokes. He thanked the elf and suddenly remembered he still needs to open the gift. Putting the tray of food down on the counter, he cautiously opened it. Inside were a few bottles of a familiar substance. It was enough pain remover potion to last him a week.

“The next time Granger comes here, can you tell her to meet me by the tree on the lake at 7pm on Friday?” Draco said to an elf. After it vigorously nodded yes, Draco carried the tray and box under his arm, threw over the invisibility cloak, and left without another word.

 

Friday approached quickly, yet every hour that passed was agony. Draco was so desperate to talk to Hermione. He needed to know what's going on, and he can't stay hidden under the cloak forever.

Two days after he made the fast plans with Hermione via house elf, it was Friday. With the cloak drooped over him, Draco stood at the tree next to the lake he had said to meet at. He was doing anything but staying still. He paced around the tree, he broke off pieces of grass, he twirled his hair. All of these things proved to be difficult with the invisibility cloak, but it was better than not moving at all. 

As seven came and passed, it was now 7:30. Draco was so anxious and worried that Hermione wouldn't show. What if the elves hadn't told her the message? What if she just didn't want to show?

These thoughts and more swarmed around his head, but abruptly halted when he saw a girl with bushy brown hair making her way towards the tree he stood at. Relief flooded over Draco, But a new nervousness also bloomed. 

She stood at the tree, confused to why she didn't see Draco there. The questions he asked himself moments earlier were now probably the same questions Hermione was asking herself. Realizing he was invisible, Draco pulled the cloak off him in an overdramatic, movie type manor. 

She made a slight noise of surprise at Draco's sudden appearance. She opened her mouth to speak before he interrupted. “You're late,” he said. Draco wasn't sure what his feelings toward Hermione should be right now. Was she the supportive girlfriend of Ron weasley, the boy who caused all of this, or is she the supportive best friend of Harry Potter, the boy Draco didn't know how he felt about. 

“I know, I'm sorry,” she told him. “ I had to make sure Harry didn't see me leave.” Draco felt queasy as she mentioned Harry's name. 

“What's going on…?” Draco asked. He didn't know where to start or what to ask, and it seemed that Hermione didn't know, either. 

“Um… well harry and I have been in the room of Requirements for a few days. It changed into more of a living space, and less of a hospital,” she began. 

Draco nodded. The room of Requirements has built so many mixed emotions in him. On one hand, he hated it because it served as a prison, but on the other hand it has so many nice memories of… Draco trailed off info thought. 

Hermione stood silently, admiring how bad Draco looked. He has dark circles under his eyes, one of which was purple from where harry punched him. The long cut on his cheek was mostly healed, but a nasty scar was becoming visible. His usually tidy blond hair was now greasy and sat uncombed and untidy on his forehead. Draco's clothes were dirty and they seemed to be the same ones he had worn when Hermione saw him last. Overall, he seemed tired. The look in his eyes showed coldness. 

“Where is the weasel?” Draco asked suddenly, pulling himself from his thoughts. 

“ Ron? I don't really know,” she said. Her tone of voice sounded like she was hurting, but trying not to show it. Draco decided it wasn't any of his business. 

“Okay… what is Potter doing?” Draco said. Potter was so much easier to say than Harry. 

“He's… not good,” she said. Draco's heart dropped and waited for an elaboration. “He's worked about you. A lot.”

“Well he hurt me, so he better fucking be.” Draco didn't know were the anger came from. Days earlier he would have dyed to make up with harry. But right now, the only thing he would do is give him a punch to the eye to match the one harry had given Draco. 

“I'm sorry,” Hermione said randomly. 

“For what?” Draco said, unsure if she was apologizing for his injuries or for something else. 

“I don't know… staying with Ron, even when he would say those horrible things about you. He talked about you all the time. Even more than Harry.” She gave a small little laugh. 

“don't apologize… it's not your fault.” Draco didn't know what he was referring to exactly, but whatever it was, Hermione was not responsible. 

Both of them took a seat against the tree and talked. Not about harry or Ron, but they had a normal conversation about normal topics. “Do you know the Ghouls are going on tour?” “Man, my homework is stacking up.”

Draco enjoyed the break from the pain and suspense of his current life. It felt good to feel like he had normal friends and everything was okay. Hermione enjoyed it too. 

The sun was sinking slowly into the horizon as time went on. The cold fall air surrounded them and they both shivered. Knowing Hermione had to get back soon, they started cautiously drifting back into the subject of harry and the current situation. 

“What are you doing for shelter?” Hermione asked.

“Shelter? Nothing. I just sit by the forbidden forest with the cloak over me. It's not the most glamorous living place but I don't want to go back to the castle… I was thinking of going to the shrieking shack, though. Harry… he told me how to get in.”

“I don't think that's very healthy living situation,” Hermione said in a joking but also serious manor. Draco shrugged and said nothing else. “are your Rib's feeling better?”

“They hurt before you got me the potions. I don't know how they are healing or if… he re-broke them,” Draco told her. 

“It's not likely. They are pretty far along in healing, so I doubt they're broke,” Hermione reassured him. 

After remembering what caused this whole situation, Hermione said “I'm really sorry about your dad…”

“Yeah.”

After more silence and staring into the horizon, Hermione spoke up about the pressing issue. “Draco… you and Harry, you need to talk,” she continued on quickly to make sure Draco didn't interrupt her with his protests. “you might not want to, and you are scared to see what he thinks, but whatever the outcome, at least you will be able to move on in your life and get closure.”

Draco didn't reply for a while. He had to think long and hard about what to do. Days before, he would have pounced on any opportunity to meet with harry, but now he was scared of what would happen and unsure of what the will think of harry. “Okay. Fine, I'll do it.” He agreed. Hermione's face lit up. 

“Good,” she exclaimed. “I'll talk to harry, and I'll leave you notes with the house elves.” he didn't reply again, so hermione took the opportunity to ask an awkward question. “So you and harry… you guys were like, dating… right?”

He nodded. “What does it matter?” He asked hypothetically. “it's over. I knew it wouldn't work out.”

~

It was 2 days later, and Draco was standing by the doors if the room of Requirements. The nervousness he was feeling right now is the worst kind of nervousness. He was shaking and hyperventilating, thinking of every possible scenario that could happen. He took a second to compose himself (it didn't do much, but at least he stopped hyperventilating), and then placed his hands on the large door knobs, took a deep breath, and he opened the heavy doors and walked in. 

The first thing he noticed was not harry standing in the middle of the room, but it was the room itself. It was set up as the hospital room Draco had spent so much time in. The arm chairs, the silver cart, the potions and the white bed. Memories flooded his mind and he started to remember smoking with harry on the arm chairs, the clanking noises of the potions being pushed together, laying together on the white bed… 

Remembering where he was and that the boy who had meant everything to him was standing right there, Draco gulped nervously and spoke up. “Hermione said the room changed.”

Harry was staring at Draco's black eye, and was stricken with guilt as he remembered that he was the one who caused it. “Yeah, it did,” harry said, “It must of changed back.” Draco nodded. Draco knew that it wasn't that simple. One, or maybe both of the boys needed a room to remind the other of the time they spent together, and the happy memories the room brought. Draco was almost positive that it was harry that caused the room to change, but you never know. 

They both stood there, Feet apart. Neither of them moved and the only sound to be heard was the rain falling against the window. It was strange to once feel so comfortable around one person, and now feel as you barely know them. It was a lonely feeling and Draco despised it. 

“We need to talk about what happened,” harry spoke up. 

“I know,” Draco said. It felt as if he couldn't breath. He glanced at the white bed again and remembered being bloody and disoriented on it a few weeks ago. how did that lead to all of this?

“I shouldn't have stood up for Ron. He was foul and he deserved what you did to him,” harry said while exhaling, as if he just got a huge weight off his chest. Draco felt weirdly empty at his words. He thought he would forgive harry and just fall into his arms, but he was now realizing that isn't what is going to happen.   
“I know,” was all he responded with. He couldn't say anything else. 

“I'm sorry, Draco.” harry said with a pleading voice. “I'm so fucking sorry. I was an ass, and I know I was, but I need you. You make me a better person and you are my whole life. I have never felt this way about anyone before, and I need you to believe me. I need you to understand how sorry I am.”

Draco took a deep breath. “I…” there was a war in his head. Opposing forces fought for their cause. One side was for Harry, and one was against. It was too much for Draco, He couldn't handle it. He wanted so desperately to forgive harry but... “ I can't be with you.”

Harry's face fell and it looked shocked at these words. His eyes were dry, as it hadn't sunk in enough for tears, yet. Draco was slightly surprised to hear himself say these words, too. It felt like it wasn't his voice, and another person had taken over his body. He was tempted to say 'sike!’, but he had said these words for a reason, so he decided to trust his brain and body, and not listen to his heart. 

“But…” harry didn't know what to say. He couldn't form an argument or a reason for Draco to reconsider. How can you explain something as complicated as remorse in only 26 letters? “I love you, Draco.”

Shivers ran through him at hearing Harry say his name. “No you don't. You hurt me, you punched and kicked me, and if you loved me, you wouldn't have done that.” Tears ran down Draco's face, and they soon ran down Harry's, too. 

“Please… i need you. You have to believe me,” harry said with a sob. The pleading sound and wet face of harry made more tears run past the black eye that was dark against Draco's pale skin. 

“I wish I could,” Draco said truthfully with a small sob of his own, “I really wish I could believe you, but I can't. You hurt me, and you were the one person I trusted. The one person i relied on to not hurt me. I love you… but I can't forgive you. I'm sorry, goodbye harry.” 

In a last attempt to bring Draco back, harry ran up and placed a long kiss upon him, just like Draco had done when he was trying to bring harry back not long ago. For a second, Draco kissed harry back. It was such a familiar feeling he had missed. It was everything he wanted and he almost stayed there with harry. He almost gave in. With one gentle push, Draco separated himself from harry. His lips tingled familiarly and he wished they didn't. 

“I'm sorry,” draco said again. He made a loud sob and calmly walked to the heavy twin doors. Harry was pleading with him in the background, and as much as it broke draco's heart, he kept walking. He walked out the door and looked back into the room before it closed. The last thing he saw of the familiar room was harry still standing in the same spot, sobbing and looking at the doors. They made eye contact for a split second and the colour of harry's eyes made Draco think over everything he just said and was tempted to run back into the room and kiss harry again. The door then closed and Draco was no longer looking into Harry's eyes, he was just looking at the fading door. It brought him back to his senses and Draco walked away while crying silently.

~

Harry didn't know what to do. He would like to think that he could stand in this spot and do nothing forever. The world would continue to revolve while harry ignored it. 

It had been an hour after draco left harry standing and sobbing in the room of requirements, and nothing about the scenery had changed. He stood in the same spot while fresh tears flooded his face and he made soft, embarrassing whimpering noises. He let the tears fall pointlessly, because what's the worst that could happen if someone found him like this? His whole life was gone. The boy who showed him happiness has left forever, so how was he ever supposed to be happy again?

Swept up In his thoughts, harry didn't realize Hermione was cautiously opening the large doors. She saw Harry standing in the room with tears on his face and she walked over. “Need a hug?”

They embraced in a long hug that harry desperately needed. He put so much sadness and longing into the hug and in return Hermione put in warmness and comfort. During this hug, harry composed himself and stopped the tears for the first time in a while. He was dehydrated and his head pounded against his skull.

Hermione took harry by the arm after they disconnected and she led him outside of the twin doors. He was unaware of what she was doing, but it was clear after she closed her eyes, led him back into the room again, and the bedroom setup was back. Harry walked over to the couch area, Sat down in an armchair, and dug his face into his hands. A few seconds later he heard Hermione sit in the couch next to the arm chair. 

“What happened?” Hermione asked. Her voice was comforting but showed traces of caution, telling she was sceptical about asking this. 

Harry thought back to the night of the third task of the Triwizard tournament. He was forced to repeat what happened with Voldemort so many times to so many people. It felt as if he repeated the painful story one more time, he would lose it. That's how harry felt now, even though this was the first time reciting the story. Every word was agony, but soon he got used to this. And he knew this was Hermione; she won't take his explanation lightly. She would listen to him.

It stung to remember and recite today's events. It stung even more to think that this is it… Draco left and is never coming back. Harry's lost all hope in the span of an hour. The kiss harry forced upon Draco was regrettable but also not. For a few brief second it felt as if the old harry and Draco were back. The happy ones who would give anything for eachother. It had only been a week since everything happened with Ron, but it felt as if they both aged so many years. They felt old and wise, but unhappy. 

He got to explaining when Draco left. Harrys cheeks were damp again without him realizing. Hermione was still sitting in the couch, looking focused at harry and not interrupting at all. Harry's voice stopped for the first time since he began explaining what happened. It felt like hours since he began speaking. 

“Wow… i'm really sorry, Harry. That must have been hard to hear,” Hermione told him. Harry nodded.

“He told me… he said that I don't love him. He said I don't love him because I hurt him,” harry told Hermione again. He needed to hear what she thinks. 

“Is it true? Do you not love him?”

“I do! I… I love him. But the fact that I did hurt him makes me think over everything I have ever said to him, though. Do I love him? I think I do, but how can I be sure?” Harry asked, not expecting a response but hoping for one. 

“How do you feel around him? When you were together, how did you feel?”

“It felt like the world was invisible. The only thing that mattered was that he was there with me and I was there with him. Kissing him is so much more than a kiss. It felt like a natural disaster. Hard to look away from, but dangerous. And now I get why it's dangerous. Basically, when we were together he was the only thing that caught my attention. Every small detail about him. His hair, his eyes, his skin… they all fell together perfectly.” 

After a few seconds of Hermione staring at Him with kind eyes, she responded. “Harry, that's love. That is exactly what happens when someone is in love. I think Draco got it wrong.”

~

After a few days of trying to contact Draco, Hermione wandered over the border of the forbidden forest many times, calling out his name, to no response. She was starting to give up and was becoming increasingly frustrated. 

Right before she headed back to the castle the second night of doing this, she gave one last yell. “Draco! I just wanna talk!” to her relief and slight surprise, Draco revealed himself from under the cloak. 

“will you just fuck off already?”

“... Draco?” 

”You have been out here for hours. I figured harry told you everything so what do you want from me, Granger?” He said with a cold voice. Hermione looked confused at his choice of words and harsh tone. It was slightly scary to hear him like this. 

“I dunno… perspective I guess? Your side of the story maybe?” She proposed. Draco sighed and sat down on a fallen tree log, Hermione followed and sat down next to him. 

“I just… don't understand,” she told him. “I thought you would want to get back with Harry. Why didn't you?”

“I just didn't, okay.” By the look of Hermione's face, she didn't accept that as an answer, so he begrudgingly continued. “ I can't be with someone who hurt me like he did, and I just can't trust him. You don't get it.”

“But… you could give it a chance! You didn't even try to fix your relationship. It seems like you just gave up,” Hermione said. Draco said nothing. “and Harry… he's really broken up. He's a mess. You really broke his heart.”

Draco thought over what she was saying, and the bad thing is that he knew she was right. It was more complicated than that, but there was some part of Draco that had given up. Some part of him knew how badly he hurt harry. He has tried hard to bury these thoughts even deeper, but Hermione has dug them up and he was angry at her for doing so. 

Deciding that there was nothing else to do, nothing else to lose he turned to anger. He's lost so much the past couple days, and it's inevitable that he would lose Hermione, his 'friend’, too. “He's broken up…? What about me!? You think this is an easy thing for me to do? I feel like I'm fucking dying and I hate it. I just want it to stop! So i don't give a damn if you think I didn't give it a chance, and I don't give a damn if you think I gave up.” He dramatically got up from the tree trunk and stormed off deeper into the forest, leaving Hermione alone on the log. 

She was not having it, though. She jumped up off the log and ran off in pursuit of him. Finally catching up to Draco, she grabbed his shoulder and spun him around so he would look at her. Draco was surprised at her hard grip on his shoulder and stern face. “You are being such an ass. Do you know how you are acting right now? You are being just like you did at school years ago. And I know it's because you aren't with harry anymore. He made you a better person and you know it.” That's all she wanted to say. She let go of his shoulder and she walked back towards the castle, leaving Draco standing in the forest, contemplating and dissecting everything he has done and said the past few days. 

~

Draco set himself down a direct path of self destruction, after That. He didn't care how he acted or what he did, because there was nothing else to lose. He had already lost everything so what's the point of keeping morals?

He would go to the kitchens every few days and would get all the alcohol and smokes he would carry. He spent most nights drunk and laying on the freshly snowed ground. The mix of smokes and liquor got him on a great high that would make him forget about everything. He was calm and unaware of his surrounding, just like he wanted. He would look at the stars and tall trees and cloudy dark sky. It felt like a movie. 

He would wake up the next morning with a raging hangover and he would smell of smoke. He deal with the hangover by drinking again. He already smelled of smoke, so he smoked more. He was fully aware of what he was doing. The road to self destruction was a glorified process. It was so much worse than anyone could have described. 

The primary reason he was destroying the remaining bits of his life was because of what Hermione said. After they had met, Draco did realize how much he needed harry. He had made him a better person, and it killed Draco. But there was nothing he could do. He was so strict with harry on the fact that Draco didn't want to be with him, and he couldn't go back on his word. He was scared that if he got back with harry now, harry would forever be unsure if Draco actually loved him. He would be scared that he would leave him again, and Draco didn't want to do that to harry. 

More time passed and it been almost two weeks since he and harry had talked. It had gotten so much worse in those two weeks. At that point, the house elves had stopped supplying him with his whiskey and bourbons. I didn't matter anyway, he had built up such a tolerance it was hard to get drunk anymore. Because of this betrayal of his body, Draco resulted to drugs. He found a guy and met with him at Hogsmeade very week. It wasn't over the top gear, just enough to disorientate him for a few hours. 

That soon wasn't enough though. The guy he met with recommended a popular muggle drug, Heroin. He had heard a bit about it before and according to some people, it's very dangerous and easy to overdose on. Draco didn't care anymore. He was so past the point of caring, and soon he was hooked on the stuff. It was unlike anything he had ever tried. He was dependant on it, he needed it every day. He hated it loved it, and soon he was ashamed of himself but he couldn't stop. 

On this particular night, a night that changed him forever, he had created a cocktail he had never done. It was a combination of some LSD, some heroine, and a lot of bourbon. The opiate and hallucinogen mixed and created a particular feeling like no other. Draco hated it, he hated himself. He was ashamed. 

He was laying on the ground looking at the stars like he did most nights. He had been there for hours, and soon being on the ground like this was not enough. He felt as if the drugs wanted him to do More, so he slowly stood up, and made his way to the castle without the invisibility cloak. 

He found himself on the hallway that haunted him with memories. The hallways with the bathroom, the hallway with the room of Requirements, the hallway he had fought with Ron. Draco had never thought such a space could be so meaningful. In this state of mind, it was even more haunted than before, quite literally. The hallucinogens created shadows all across the hallway he was slowly walking down. They taunted him and they were shouting. It was so loud, the ringing they admitted hurt his ears that were already so sensitive. He thought he saw someone standing at the end of the hallway, but when he did a double take, there was no one there.

He walked the hallway faster and faster, dying to get to the end of it. He abruptly stopped though, when he got to the room of Requirements. A door appeared, and he wasn't sure if it was the drugs or real life that made it appear so. He began pounding on the doors with his fists for no reason. He didn't wait for a response, he continued to fast walk down the hall. 

Draco walked through more of the castle, and all around were the taunting shadows. He saw visions of old friends at school and people from his childhood, weirdly. There was a staircase he decided to climb, and when he reached the top he knew were he was, but it had an eeriness. He was on the astronomy tower, and over the edge, in the sky was the radiant dark mark. He was brought back to the night of his sixth year, when he had cornered dumbledore in this very spot. 

He gasped and stepped back, terrified. When he turned around he saw his father standing next to the staircase. He gasped again and covered his eyes and ears in distress. He wanted it to stop. He wanted to get down from the drugs. 

“Draco,” his father's voice said. He heard it so clearly, even though his ears were covered. 

“Get the fuck away!” He yelled. The shadows had returned. Even when he closed his eyes, the figures of all these people were yelling and appearing in his mind. 

“Do you want it to stop?” Lucius asked. “The sky, the people, you want them to go away, correct?”

His voice was so prominent over the shrieking of the shadows. And his father was correct. He wanted it to stop so bad. He uncovered his ears and opened his eyes, it made no different if they were covered, anyway. He nodded his head yes to his father. 

“Than jump,” draco's father said with a newly echoing voice. Lucius pointed to the edge of the astronomy tower. The idea made so much sense to Draco. It would stop if he fell. It would all stop… 

Draco climbed onto the edge. The shadows were encouraging him, they yelled and screeched. His father was still talking. “Go on,” he was saying. Draco put his arms up and felt the cold breeze on his body. He exhaled deeply and watched his cloud of breath in the winter air. 

One foot left the edge, and he swayed in the breeze. He began to sway forward and he was ready… on the count of three he would fall. One… two… he leaned forward, about to do it… thr-

The yelling in his head suddenly stopped, and only one voice could be heard. 

“Draco! Stop!” The voice unmistakably belonged to Potter. Draco spun around but didn't step down from the edge. 

With an unsteady voice, Draco asked “A- are you real?” to the distressed looking harry in front of him. 

“What do you mean?” Harry said, but as he said this he noticed draco's eyes and their insane look. They were wide and his pupils were dilated. The light grey eyes harry loved were now dark and terrified looking, and that made him realized what was happening. 

“Can you see it? The sky, a-and the people! And the shouting!” Draco's voice had risen and he was now yelling. His arms were still up by his shoulders and he still felt the breeze pushing his hair forward. 

“It's not real, Draco. Please come down from there…” harry said, trying to reason. He didn't listen though, and harry knew he was going to fall. In an attempt to bring him down, harry stepped forward, ready to grab him, but in response draco began to sway backwards. 

“Don't!” Draco shouted. “You're not r-real! If you step any closer i'll fall!” Draco was terrified, and he wanted the shit to stop. He didn't know why the vision of harry was trying to bring him down, but draco knew he had to fall. 

Harry stopped where he stood. “Woah woah, okay okay, I stopped! Don't fall!” He didn't have his wand with him, a pound at the door of the room of Requirements had Interrupted what harry was preoccupied with, and he started to follow Draco down the halls. He hadn't time to grab his wand. 

“Draco… I'm real, I swear,” he said, trying to reason with him. “Here, feel my hand. I'm real” harry extended his arm slowly. 

He didn't know what to do, but draco needed validation. He put his already extended arm towards harry and slowly traced his fingers over Harry's hand. His fingers met flesh. It was real, harry was real. 

Draco made a loud sob in relief, happy to see one real thing. It wasn't enough though, he couldn't get off the edge, he needed to fall, but he wasn't sure. “you're real but it's not enough, how do I know that everything else is real?!” 

“Do you need more that is real?” Harry asked, To which Draco nodded vigorously. “You are Draco Malfoy, an ex death eater… your father is dead and I hurt you. It was the greatest regret of my life, and I would do anything to change it. Do you hear to know something else that is real? I was about to… I was about to kill myself before you pounded on my door. I had a knife and I was about to slit my wrists. I need you, and that's real. I love you, and that's real. You are my whole life, you are the love of my life, and I don't want to live in a world without you. So please, come down.” Harry's eyes were full of tears at admitting this. Every word was real. 

Draco gave out a loud sob, his eyes looked everywhere frantically, looking for any reason to jump. But he was coming down from the high now and was starting to only see Harry. His father still stood next to harry, though. His face stern and his eyes cold. But the dark mark in the sky was fading, he was realizing the unrealness of what the drugs created, and then his father started to fade... 

His arms fell back to his side and his eyes relaxed, and his head fell into his shoulder. Harry walked up to him fast and led him off the edge and back onto the astronomy tower. “I'm sorry,” Draco sobbed. He was so tired, and every word he spoke was hard to say, but each one of them was filled with truth, and longing and heartbreak. “You make me a better person and I need you. I didn't want to admit that to myself. I'm sorry for telling you I can't be with you, I love you. It's not the drugs making me say this, I'm really so sorry.” His eyes were wet with tears as it felt so good to tell harry all of this, to tell him exactly what he had been burying inside himself for so long, to tell him the same things that had caused Draco to do this to himself. “I need you, and I don't expect you to want to get back with me bu-”

Draco's words were interrupted by Harry's lips being forced upon Draco's. It was rough but gentle, it was everything he needed and wanted. It felt like the first time they kissed, but somehow better. There were colours Dancing in their closed eyes and their lips tingled. 

Harry's arm was holding draco's waist close to his, not wanting to let him go for anything. This was the only thing he needed right now, and man he was glad he hadn't gone through and used that knife to kill himself, if he had, Draco wouldn't be alive either. And they wouldn't be there right now, on the dark and cold astronomy tower. Weirdly, that's the only place he wanted to be right now...

~

The road to recovery is so much more complex than the road to self destruction. It took Draco two weeks to completely ruin his life, but it didn't seem like he would ever get better.

Draco had moved back into the room of Requirements to be closer to Harry, and learned that Hermione had moved out, but still visited regularly (she had walked in the morning after the incident to see Draco shivering under the covers of harry's bed and harry up and awake, putting hot towels on his forehead). 

The process of getting Draco off the drugs was such a hard thing. Although harry was there all the time and he helped so much, it was still such an awful thing to go through, and harry was heartbroken by how much of a tough time Draco was having. It was weird to see someone you love that fragile.

He would have annoyingly random cold flashes. He would be frozen one second, and hot the next. Harry kept up and would add blankets to Draco's already thick stack of them, and would keep hot towels on his forehead. In an instant harry could remove the blankets and have an ice bath ready for him if his temperature changed dramatically. Harry has had to stop Draco from clawing at his own skin multiple times. He would have restless legs and poor communication skills. Every second of it was awful. 

One of the worst days was yesterday. Harry had gone away for a few hours to restock on food and talk to Hermione, and he had come back to Draco lying on the bed. At first harry was confused to why he was so calm, until he noticed the needle besides him. Draco had relapsed. Harry didn't know how or where he got the needle and heroine, but he had. Harry was devastated and it was awful to see Draco lying on the bed like that with track marks in his arm again.

From then on harry had handcuffed Draco to his bed without a wand whenever harry wasn't in the room. It was awful to hear the pleads and cries of Draco after harry made him go cold Turkey. The stomach aches, depression and cold flashes returned soon after that. 

Three more weeks had gone by and Draco hadn't used since. He was far from recovered, but the symptoms lessened and he could get by without Harry's help, he still accepted the assistance, though. Draco still smoked cigarettes, and so did Harry, as it would be too extreme to quit both smoking and other drugs at the same time, and Draco had no intention of quitting smoking. 

Harry had been acting as almost a therapist to Draco, and vise versa. They would be up at late hours of the night, talking about what went on when they were separated and how Draco felt about himself and his self destruction. They had saved each other. Their relationship felt different than it had before. It was darker and harder to maintain, but they both were certain they wanted to be together. They had both aged so much in their time apart. Luckily, it got easier as time went on and they both got better as well as their relationship.

Draco still remembered what had happened on the night of the astronomy tower, even though he was completely hopped up on drugs. He remembered being so close to killing himself, and he remembered the feeling of needing to jump off the tower. It was something he never wanted to feel again. Harry words were still so prominent in his mind. “You are Draco Malfoy, an ex death eater… your father is dead and I hurt you. It was the greatest regret of my life, and I would do anything to change it.” “I was about to kill myself before you pounded on my door. I had a knife and I was about to slit my wrists. I need you, and that's real. I love you, and that's real.”

Draco had brought this up a few times over the past few days but Harry always would change the subject. On One bad day when Draco was so anxious he had scratched his arm until it bled, he was squirming in the bed, fighting the urge to hurt himself with harry almost sitting on top of him to keep him still. Draco asked again “what did you mean by you were going to kill yourself?” 

Harry finally gave in. He wanted to distract Draco, so he told him the truth and agreed to talk about it. “I almost slit my wrists. I was sitting on the bed and thinking about what was next in my life… I had a few drinks and I decided that I should just end it.”

Draco had stopped moving around so much and was now calmer, which relieved harry. “Why do you never want to talk about it?”

“It's not the best topic for conversation, and it's not something i regularly want to talk about,” he said sarcastically, covering up his uncomfortableness. 

“You think it's easy for me to talk about how every night I would inject myself with multiple drugs, not caring that it might kill me? I hate talking about it, but I do because I trust you with it and I know you can help me. Why can't you trust me too and just talk?” Draco admitted. The withdrawal was adding to his grouchiness and harry knew this, but the words were still true.

Harry thought over his words over and knew he was right. They stayed up until 4 am and had an in-depth talk about everything going on and everything that troubled harry. there were tears, there were hugs, they even made out a few times. They had fallen asleep, holding hands next to each other. Draco woke up before harry, and he looked at him sleeping peacefully and knew that if it wasn't for Harry, Draco wouldn't be aware and sober right now. Hell, he wouldn't even be alive. And Draco couldn't picture a world where either of them, or both, were dead. 

~

It was two months later. Harry and Draco had snuck out at night and they were laying together by the lake, at the familiar tree Draco had sat by every day of those two weeks he was alone. It was dark out and the air was slowly getting warmer as spring was arriving. 

There had been many times Draco had laid on the ground, looking at the stars and hopped up on drugs. But this, laying with harry and completely sober was one of the best things to happen to him for so long. 

Draco had one leg wrapped around harry and they kissed until their lips were red and sore. Even with them kissing every day, the feeling of it had not diminished at all. His lips tingled and butterflies flew in his stomach. His heart beat violently yet he was so calm and collected. It was better than any drug he had ever took.

“I love you so much,” Draco said randomly. 

“Woah, where did that come from?” 

“I don't know, just wanted to tell you.”

Harry smiled at Draco “I love you.” 

It was now 3am and they both were on the verge of falling asleep. A few cigarette butts littered the ground around them. An owl hooted from a tree not far, and they were under the blanket they had brought with them. Draco hogged the blanket and harry yelled at him for it. 

It had been quiet for a while, and harry randomly decided to kiss draco lightly. When they separated, harry brushed his thumb lightly over the long scar on draco's cheek. 

“Do you ever want to do drugs again?” Harry asked. It was a slightly personal question but he had wanted to ask it for a long time. 

Draco sighed. “Sometimes,” was all he said. He took a drag from his burning cigarette and exhaled. 

“How do you stay away from it then?” 

Draco thought long and hard about this. He replayed his whole history with harry, and even before that. He remembered the time he spent in azkaban. He remembered the loneliness he felt at the beginning of the year. He remembered the first kiss they had shared. he remembered his time on drugs, but most of all he remembered the relief he felt when he and harry had kissed again on the astronomy tower. It's strange how all of that had led to the happiness he felt right now. 

“Do you remember what you told me a while ago, when I asked why you hadn't been drinking anymore?” Draco asked. Harry shook his head no. 

“I don't need drugs anymore, because your love is better.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I gave been writing this for about 4 months, and I'm so proud of myself for sticking with this and completing it. This has been my first fan fic and I am pretty proud with it.  
>  Here are some reasons and facts about the story: most of this took place in private places (bathroom, room of Requirements) is because I wanted this story to be primarily focused on Draco and Harry's relationships and story line. I didn't want any other characters to distract from that, and so that's why there are only a few main characters. That's the same reason I never wrote any sex scenes or pointed out that they are a gay couple. I just wanted there to be focus on their relationship and nothing else. I also want to make it clear that im nor trying to romanticise drugs, suicide and abuse. It was primarily for the storyline and I tried to display these topics as awful and harmful as they are in real life. 
> 
> So, I will most likely be writing more fan fic and I hope you all subscribe to me to keep updated. I have an idea for a new fic but I don't know when I will start on it. I do not plan on writing a sequal to this, but I might change my mind. My Instagrams are @ch3rrrryb0mb and @supernatsirius and i kinds update on there sometimes and I will make a post when I upload my new fic. 
> 
> Thank you for sticking with me and reading this fic. I hadn't expected it to get much good feedback but all of your comments are appreciated and loved by me ( talking about comment's, please please please leave a comment on what you thought of the new chapter and the fic overall, and please leave kudos) 
> 
> I had a great time writing this and it saddens me to end it, but this was a great experience and I can't wait until I start my new fic! Thank you.


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